Woman in hospital for suicide attempt.

You didn't initially mention it was your personal safety at risk. You merely asked how it sounded if you picked up the keys and got the check book.

I know first hand what it's like to be in hospital for that reason and damn it's difficult to reach out to anyone when you feel that way.

Hopefully the rent is a day or two late. The last thing she'll need is facing eviction for unpaid rent when she's released.

The while thing is just confusing. You posted on June 25th and its July 1st, a week passed. She still doesn't have her checkbook?. Maybe there is more to the story but it seems like such a basic task.

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Yes ..... confusing. Poor friend ):

Of course I don't know her. I only know what you have shared, and what you have shared is confusing to me. It would be humiliating to a lot of people if the one person they asked wouldn't do what they needed help with. A lot of people would also feel humiliated at paying rent late.

I thought the visiting hours were for the hospital. What sort of place does she live in that has visiting hours? And are strict enough that you couldn't get access to her flat to get a chequebook when she is in the hospital? I really don't understand that. I also don't understand how you are so unfamiliar with where she lives when you have been friends for so long. And that you needed to consult a forum as to what you should do when your friend expressed exactly what she needed you to do.

Divine1966 , CH: My friend was transfered from one ward to the psych ward. She at first changed her mind about me getting her the checkbook. She only came to the PW yesterday. Sorry didnt mention my personal safety. Don't see how I could go to her place during day light hrs. when I couldn't get her keys until at least 7:30 pm.
Red Panda. Everyone: Next time I'll think at least twice before asking for advice, support here. Visiting hrs were for the psych ward not her apt. Truly got the impression that paying the late fee was okay for her. I called her 9:27 am 7/1/16 to make sure she'd be okay with her rent. She can't be called to the phone. She can only call me back. That is the ward's policy. I suspect because of HIPAA. That is totally beyond my control.

It's still confusing why you needed forum's help telling what you need to do when it sounds like a very simple thing.

On the 25th you posted that she wants you to go to her place on 26th and get her checkbook. I am really confused on what you need advice on? Should you help a friend? I understand if you needed support because you are upset over a friend being sick. But it's not what you said. You seem to need support in figuring out how to get her checkbook? I mean I don't understand the issue. People ask friends for favors all the time.

If you needed help figuring out how to physically get to the hospital and to her apartment, then it's hard to help as we don't know where you live and where is her apartments. If you send us your address and hospitals name and her apartments address we can figure out routs how to get there. Otherwise I don't know what is the issue here .

It's been a week. When is she getting her checkbook finally?


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7:30 isn't really a night especially in a summer. It's light for while after that. Where do you live that it's dark that early in late June? If you couldn't figure out for a week how to get there could you figure out to take a cab or ask your sister?

This is one of the most confusing threads ever. I feel stupid reading it because I can't comprehend what is this about.

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Ok. So.

Her apartment building is open all the time. Therefore you do not need to go there in the evening. You could also bring your sister or someone else with you. If walking is hard then call a cab - you're already paying $30 now for it to be late so how much more would a can have been?

The reasons you have for not getting the chequebook are that you 1) have mobility issues and 2) don't feel safe in the neighbourhood at night. Both of those can be worked around - but you'd rather just give her money? What if she stays in the hospital longer than she has already been! Her rent is going to get later and later.

It's just really unclear what you need help with, and why this is such a big deal for you. The details of your friendship with her confuse me, because you seem like you're close and it's certainly a long standing fried ship, but the way you describe her "woman" instead of "friend" and not feeling safe going to her home... It just seems really contradictory.

Then again - I would be the exact opposite of you in the same situation. Been in similar but less important situations. When I know someone needs help I offer it, even if it can be inconvenient. I also don't drive and my city isn't the safest one. I've also had the opposite - where I've needed help with minor things and have been given the help from strangers and casual aquaintances.

So I am just confused.

Need her keys to get into the apt. Can't get her keys until I visit her within visiting hrs. 7:30 pm at the earliest. Women vs friend lets not nitpick. I didn't mean anything writing woman vs friend. Reminder. We don't know each other so I feel your presuming. Today called her at the PS but she needs to return my call. That's my only option. If she tells me she changes her mind about me paying her late fee is not good enough for her I'll reconsider my position.

Yes visiting hours there. But you don't need to go to her apartment immediately after getting her keys. You can go the next day.

At most hospitals they will let someone coming to pick up keys to meet a person outside of visiting hours all that needs to be done is ask the doctor to clear it. I really don't understand your reluctance to help. You seem more intent on creating obstacles that finding ways to help. Like others have said you wrote on the 26th and in all that time it was too difficult for you, and now it is the first. What about her? Put yourself in her shoes and think how you would feel if the situation was reversed. That you had no one but one " friend" to help you and that "friend" delayed and delayed giving one excuse after anougher.

To all honesty if you didn't want to help her, then why did you ask on here ? Everyone said go get the key and go to the apartment and you still don't. And hospital is walking distance?

Frankly to get a key you don't need to meet with her. It could be done through the nurse or other staff member. But even if not you can go there during visiting hours and get a key. And you could return to the hospital at 7:30.

If you don't want to deal with it, then don't, but why ask here?

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I did want to help her. I called her apt bldg today. The woman who answered the phone was her social worker. Didn't realize there was SWs there. She told me she was really concerned for her. She told me Carol was acting rather strangely. That she was decompensating. Most I knew before was my girlfriend told me she took an overdose . I know from knowing her for so long she hears voices. For years she kept complaining about a certain male voice having it in for her. She's on Zyprexa. I told her what hospital my friend was in. They told me they'd hold her rent for a week and then if she's still hospitalized they'd make it possible she could pay the rent and still be a resident there. I feel I handled it just fine. The social worker thought so too. There is more than one way to handle many situations. Divine. Didn't realize I could get a key through a staff member. Red Panda. My impression my friend needed her checkbook asap. OTOH impressions, of course, aren't consistently right. I wrote my update to let everyone how I thought I handled the situation. Initially figured I handled it okay. I believe me calling her apt was an efficient way. I'm not here to please you. (plural) Here to please my woman friend and its my belief I did that.

You keep adding in new information that could have been included the first time.

Does she live in an assisted living sort of deal? That's so very different from just living in an apartment building.

Again, I can only provide my remarks based on what you share.

I agree with red panda. When you don't provide sufficient info and only start adding info as you go, then it's impossible to advice anything of substance. People can only go by what you share. Why it took a week to call an apartment and find out the situation with the rent and that its not your regular apartment complex but some different placement with social worker on staff is still unclear to me, it could be all done as soon as she asked not a week later but I am glad there is a social worker to help her and that assisted living, or whatever other place she lives, will take care of rent situation. Hope she gets better soon poor lady

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