Why cant people be real with you instead of playing games, I am getting to old for this, If people say they are going to do something why dont they do it, I use to except excuses but not any more, I am just intolerant of it any more

[Skeezyks]

Hi Wolfeyes: The Skeezyks doesn't know the answer to your question. I suppose there are as many reasons for why people do this sort of thing as there are people who do it. Social skills were never really my "long suit", as we used to say. But as I have aged, I've simply become more-&-more reclusive to the point where I seldom have any interaction with anyone in real life. And I'm not sorry...

[Rose3]

Hi Wolfeyes1 - That's a good question. Maybe for some - they do this because there's something they want, and you can provide it for them - if they figure they can say/do various (manipulative?) things. Or - depending on what the situation is about - maybe they want to hide something about themselves. Maybe I'm trying to simplify others' lies (to think about this in terms of rewards - for themselves). Do you have any ideas?

Rose3, I am not sure, I am upset when people tell you that they will call you that day and they dont or some times they dont call at all, Another thing is people will tell you they will give you some thing and they never do, I would rather be told the truth then told a lie, I think that what you said is right, I think people do it for some manipulative gain on there part, I dont need people like that in my life

Originally Posted by Wolfeyes1

Rose3, I am not sure, I am upset when people tell you that they will call you that day and they dont or some times they dont call at all, Another thing is people will tell you they will give you some thing and they never do, I would rather be told the truth then told a lie, I think that what you said is right, I think people do it for some manipulative gain on there part, I dont need people like that in my life

Does that hurt your feeling? If people don't call when they say?

[Crazy Hitch]

I've learned to expect nothing from certain people that have let me down consistently in the past in order to avoid disappointment

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

I've learned to expect nothing from certain people that have let me down consistently in the past in order to avoid disappointment

There are some that are consistent, aren't they? My mother, who just died, was one of them.

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

Does that hurt your feeling? If people don't call when they say?

It does hurt my feelings, But I am starting to get to the point where I just don't care anymore and elimate those people from my life, They are obviously not a friend

[Raindropvampire]

Anyone that knows me knows I will take an ugly truth over a pretty lie any day of the week. You have my utmost sympathy that you are going through this. IT is very frustrating and hurtful to say the least. Not to mention (at least to me) it shows great disrespect.

[open_soul]

Hi Wolfeyes.
One does become intolerant as I myself have become and found myself to be a lone wolf. Because those people you can't rely on. There are but few people in this world who care more about others than themselves. Just walk away, you can't change them and you are not the problem. You have a long journey in this life, do not stop for those who will bring no meaning but continue walking and maybe you will find those that will bring the greatest joy to your life.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

Anyone that knows me knows I will take an ugly truth over a pretty lie any day of the week.

Well said Raindropvampire!!!

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Wolfeyes1

Why cant people be real with you instead of playing games, I am getting to old for this, If people say they are going to do something why dont they do it, I use to except excuses but not any more, I am just intolerant of it any more

I could have written this post......I have been wondering the same thing. I'd much rather people be straightforward than be fake and tell me some BS that they would love to get together, but then they just go cold on me. I wish I understood this behavior more, because I just can't imagine telling someone I'm going to do something and deliberately ignoring them. It's extremely rude, self-centered, and even cold when people act like they are excited to do something and then they just go no contact. Even when people cancel instead of no-show, I'd have a lot more respect for people who tell you "I am not sure," "I can't," "I don't want to," or "I'll check in with you when time gets closer," than those who lie or ghost me.

It's good you do not tolerate this behavior anymore. There's people out there that would not do this to you. I'm sorry you've been burned before. I have been too lately, but I have learned that it's important to cut certain people off early on than buying into their excuses (which is what I used to do). I'm a work in progress with setting boundaries, but I definitely value standing up for yourself and telling people what behavior you will not tolerate so that you only let considerate people into your life who are genuine and do not play these childish games.