[fairydustgirl]

I'm just being curious...I'm older and have had a lot of friendships with other women (I'm female) in all my years and in none of those friendships have I ever had to deal with drama or fighting or any of those things I hear about. I do admit to being somewhat avoidant, and I also generally never had more than a couple of close friends at any one time. My question is, is it more usual for people to be close and supportive or is it more usual for there to be drama and fighting?
I ask because I have always thought the first thing...I have a young girl friend who hangs out with another girl sometimes...and this other girl regularly causes my friend distress. I find the other girl personally to be very immature and judgemental and I avoid her...we all live in an apt complex together. Anyway, I am a mom figure to my friend and have tried to give advice. the two girls are 22 and 19, so yeah go figure on the immaturity factor...
I just always have found it very odd that people who call themselves friends would act in ways that would hurt the other person.
Just wondering what you all think?

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by fairydustgirl

I'm just being curious...I'm older and have had a lot of friendships with other women (I'm female) in all my years and in none of those friendships have I ever had to deal with drama or fighting or any of those things I hear about. I do admit to being somewhat avoidant, and I also generally never had more than a couple of close friends at any one time. My question is, is it more usual for people to be close and supportive or is it more usual for there to be drama and fighting?
I ask because I have always thought the first thing...I have a young girl friend who hangs out with another girl sometimes...and this other girl regularly causes my friend distress. I find the other girl personally to be very immature and judgemental and I avoid her...we all live in an apt complex together. Anyway, I am a mom figure to my friend and have tried to give advice. the two girls are 22 and 19, so yeah go figure on the immaturity factor...
I just always have found it very odd that people who call themselves friends would act in ways that would hurt the other person.
Just wondering what you all think?

I think that hurtful behavior stems from some sort of betrayal or abandonment. Also jealousy. I myself said some pretty bad things to a woman I'd been friends with for over 30 years. In that case I felt so hurt and abandoned over her fading out on me. I don't have many friendships at all. She and another childhood friend were both driven away by me by hurtful and insulting things I said.

[Ceridwen18]

I have a couple of very close women friends that I have been friends with for 25 and 15 years with. We don't fight, although sometimes we might disagree or say something that annoys the other. I am a high school teacher, and I see a lot of ridiculous drama go on between teenage girls. In this age of narcissism and social media, empty celebrity and reality TV, I'm not surprised. I think friendships between more mature women are more stable.

[Lillybet]

It's a very interesting question, I personally have never stayed friends with someone I have frequent disputes with. I have to put up with bad behaviour from my sisters I won't do that with friends.
I would rather be alone than be in the company of someone who is disagreeable.
However I think it's very hard for girls today there is so much social pressure to have friends that they would rather hang on to the wrong friend than risk having no friends at all. It happens a lot unfortunately.
Once you find a sense of self it's easier to tell disagreeable people to take a long walk off a short pier. I was so painfully shy and easily hurt when I was a kid I stayed away from conflict in friends I had enough of that at home and as I have got older my philosophy is that life is to short to be with people who bring you down.