Older friend is interested in me

ladytiger · Jul 27, 2016, 10:22 PM

A couple of days ago a male friend and I were hanging out he gave me a kiss on my cheek respecting my boundaries. He did ask how about a kiss on the lips I said of course we kissed twice. Yesterday we hung out he kissed me on the cheek and when I left his place we kissed on the lips.

He's very nice and respectable known him this past Feb. I'm 30 and he turned 58 yea I know huge age gap we do enjoy each others company a lot. We hugged gotten so close and took a while to let go of each other. The first time we met I knew he was attractive to me he's not one of those old guys chasing younger women he's very picky and really knows himself. We have great conversations

I've been hyperventilating since that kiss my mind seems to think of him. There was another mature older guy also mud 50 I was slightly interested in but haven't told him just can't get a hold of him. Anyway yes I'm scared of going into another relationship after how I was treated by my ex of 10 years.

Friend asked me what kind of relationship I'm looking for he said it's okay if you don't know. I did tell him a conclusion I came up with Is I want a deep emotional relationship without the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend that I want an open relationship as I don't want to be tied down. He told me the same thing he wants the same thing he told me his life if his previous marriage and what he learned from them etc how he wants to have meaningful relationships.

What is this lust or something else? We've had our talk on communication and negotiation. He's not pushy at all. He is just curious about what I'm looking for in a relationship ex friend asked me months ago why aren't you looking for happiness and finding a meaningful relationship? He's older but I'm no gold digger yea I got dad issues but I'm not seeking that from him at all and I don't want his money.

Should I pursue this? I know I need to get my **** together I also need to keep figuring myself out and writing down more on relationship wants and needs from a person I want to be with. I told him honestly I never thought I would be intimate or have an interest in someone much older I have checked out older mature men I'm now coming to terms with it.

Jul 28, 2016, 06:13 AM

Hi ladytiger, well in my opinion you should do what you feel is right for you. Every relationship is a step into the unknown and a risk there's no getting away from that and if you've had a bad experience in the past it's very understandable you feel nervous, if you haven't already it might be wise to disclose your past/fears to this new man so he can understand you better.

Great conversations sound a good starting point for any relationship to me. Good luck!

divine1966 · Jul 28, 2016, 07:18 AM

I have nothing against dating someone older but I am more concerned with him saying he wants open relationship ( same as you), so you want meaningful relationship yet permission to sleep with others? That's ok but make sure you use protection as it could potentially dangerous (std), also am not sure how deep the relationship will be if it's not exclusive

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ladytiger · Jul 28, 2016, 07:30 AM

We have talked about stds I have been tested negative I need to be tested for hpv. Yes we'll have an open relationship we both don't want to be tied down and be one unit that'd drive me nuts. We are both polyamorous.

ladytiger · Jul 28, 2016, 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

Hi ladytiger, well in my opinion you should do what you feel is right for you. Every relationship is a step into the unknown and a risk there's no getting away from that and if you've had a bad experience in the past it's very understandable you feel nervous, if you haven't already it might be wise to disclose your past/fears to this new man so he can understand you better.

Great conversations sound a good starting point for any relationship to me. Good luck!

I agree I have told him before how my ex treated me told him how I felt I failed in that previous relationship. I need to express my feelings again in that how I don't want to be hurt again ya know?

divine1966 · Jul 28, 2016, 11:38 AM

Well if you have multiple partners I don't see what the issue is getting one more. I don't think his age matters in this case. Not like you are looking for marriage

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ladytiger · Jul 28, 2016, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

Well if you have multiple partners I don't see what the issue is getting one more. I don't think his age matters in this case. Not like you are looking for marriage

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True he has no interest in getting married again I have zero interest in marriage.

Jul 28, 2016, 12:59 PM

You sound like a good match!

divine1966 · Jul 28, 2016, 02:56 PM

I think you might be confused. Or maybe I am. If you want casual sex with multiple partners then why talk about relationships

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ladytiger · Jul 28, 2016, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think you might be confused. Or maybe I am. If you want casual sex with multiple partners then why talk about relationships

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My journey is to venture into solo polyamory having deep intimate relationships doesn't always have to be about sex for me my need is sex everything is consensual with the understanding of what's what.

He is also poly, polyamory meaning loving more. Morethantwo.com if I want casual sex I would say so. Reason why I was asking my emotions are just stirred up plus after the first kiss I was stunned and shocked. I don't want to be a unit all tied down would drive me nuts.