[iamdeadalone]

Hello,

I have crush on someone, she is married. She also love me equally to others if not more and I love her more than anyone.
She is weak and get pressurize due to many situations.
We know each other since 10 years but she haven’t noticed me at all, 3 years back she was satisfied from her life and we talk normally to each other.
That time I had a good Job and I wasn’t feeling the life much but I tried to change my self. I started talking with her and everyone else, she listened me for hours and hours, after few days I listened her life and experiences for hours.
We were so happy, one day we hugged each other, few days later kissed, life were fantastic for both of us.
She got involved in me so much and then she got scared, she said she started loving me more than anyone else. One day she was pretty scared and came to me, I said what’s the matter, she said I Love You so much but don’t ask me to leave my family and husband, I said I Love you to and I won’t bring you the situation like this I Promise.
After few days we got too much involved, we were about to make love but suddenly she got depressed and stopped, she said I can’t do it give me some time, I never forced her and said take whatever time you need. After 10 to 11 months she said let’s make love, I said whenever you are ready just let me know, she tried to get to me several times but she didn’t had a chance because we were too occupied especially her.
After two months someone died in the family who was too dear to both of us. After his death the number of people were reduced to half (some got separated), she was in the grief, we haven’t spoken to each other for weeks, not even hugged to each other to share the grief and sorrows of us.
After death I have noticed in her a huge change, I felt like she is running away for me, whenever I hug or kiss she repelled me, I was getting used to it, few days later, one night I slept early and wake in the middle of night, they didn’t know I am awake, they locked their door for sex, I felt she used me and now she is throwing me away, after few days I said to her “make love to me” she right away refused.
After passing few days, she talked to me and said she is a *****, she occupied me and because of her I haven’t started my own life and family, she said she is playing with both of us, she said she thought, she can make both of us happy but she can’t because she is weak and scared.
I got hurt and sick a lot in that process, she said she want me to know this: If I am unhappy she is unhappy, if I am sick she is sick and if I kill myself, she might not kill herself very instant because of her own family but she will die each day without me. She also said she won’t left me alone.

Actually I am feeling left alone, once we were together I just hug her or kiss her for few second and I felt more happier than ever, but now she is rejecting me and evading from me, she also said find yourself any other girl while I was kissing her (before all of this happened but not before the death) which made me hurt more worse.
If she really attached to me why she is doing this? I will start my own family, I never brought her in a situation which make her feel I ruined her life or forced her for anything, she also never complaint me anything ever, why she is doing this?
Everything happened good because of her now she is reacting that way really affects me. She also pretends she is too busy for me.
She said she cannot leave other just to love me while I never demanded this.
I am not wanting her for anything, she also knows that.
Anything I could do to save this or I already lost her?
Sorry if I get you bored.

[Trippin2.0]

She's not yours, you never had her, please just let her go.


How would you feel if you were her husband and discovered all this?


Please move on, find a woman who can actually commit to you and build a life with you.

Neither of you are innocent in this.

YOU need to walk away. And try to get some control over yourself with other people you meet in your future.

What she does to make things okay with herself is up to her. And you will never know about it because you will have moved far away and will be having NO contact with her, right?

[Skeezyks]

Hello iamdeadalone: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!