[pinkvilla]

I am recovering from depression and am in therapy.One of the main issues is the grief regarding an old relationship. I understand that it was a good decision to end it when I did.
I feel very strongly about wanting to say a real goodbye to that person for me to put aside the sadness of it.

The problem is, it has been years. I still feel sad and thinking about contacting him brings sharp pain in my heart.But I really feel the need to talk to him for a closure. I'm sick of not having an end to my grief.I have talked enough in therapy. I tried to feel my feelings a lot. Nothing is bringing me out of my sadness.
Should I just go ahead and get my closure ? How do I keep it casual and not appear weird? I've let this problem fester for so long that I'm desperate to find closure anyway it can occur. Any suggestions to do it effectively??My biggest fear is that he'll think I'm a slut who is trying to contact a married man. May be I'm overthinking this.How do I solve this??

[Crazy Hitch]

Have you managed to find some sort of meaningful relationship with someone since this breakup that has given you support? Seems like quite some time back that you two parted ways. I'm just not sure it's such a great idea to contact him, especially considering that he is married. Maybe a final "goodbye" would / could bring you closure. But if he didn't want to, how would you handle the rejection?

[Bill3]

Does the closure you seek seem to require you to speak with him in person rather than by letter?

If in person, how do you expect conversation to go?

[Trippin2.0]

Is there any particular reason you did not get your closure at the time?


Sometimes some of us have this ideal about what closure is, when all it really is, is choosing to close a chapter in our lives. We don't really need another to be party to this process, but sometimes the intense desire to have just that, convinces us its what we need.


For myself, I've learned that I need to create my own closure, others rarely provide it, and without it I will remain stuck.


In your shoes?

I would not contact a married man, too many ways it could go wrong.