[Steversm]

Recently on vacation with my fiancee I found a text message sent to her ex husband that read, "it's our anniversary ". He replied, " I know, I was gonna text you that earlier". Number one, I thought this was totally disrespectful to do on our vacation. Number two, I am wondering if this means she is legally divorced but still emotionally attached to him? They have been divorced for 5 years. I don't really know what to make of it since we are supposed to be committed to marrying get each other. I confronted her about it. She told me she was drunk and did not remember sending that message. She remembered the message she sent right before it asking about her kids welfare, but didnt remember the anniversary comment. She would not give me any explanation why she would send it and denied feelings for him. Can someone help me interpret this and possibly some advice to guide me next action in this relationship.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Steversm: Well... from the Skeezyks'perspective, I think you may have hit the proverbial nail on the head. Your fiancé is legally divorced from her ex, but still emotionally attached. I suspect she does remember that text. She just doesn't want to own it. Unfortunately, I don't know as I have any particularly useful suggestions for you as to how to proceed.

The simple answer here is for you to express, once again, your concerns with regard to this & for the two of you to arrange for some pre-marital couples counseling as a way of clearing the air. However, whether or not your fiancé would agree to such a thing is a big question.

Assuming she would not, I don't know as there is much of anything specific you can do. You're simply going to have to give this situation some serious thought & decide what it means to you. It certainly may raise some potentially troubling signs for your future together.

Anyway... I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!