Relationship Help

I'm not new to pc but I'm new to this forum. I've never had emotion or feelings so i wouldn't of helped myself or others on here. However things changed drastically verrry quickly.

Other than my scars on my body my partner doesn't know anything about my struggles or mental health. I've been in an absolute long and dark depression lately. I feel like I need to say smthg. I need to explain. But I don't know how.

How's the right way to tell your partner for life that you struggle with mental ilness? How can it be explained to be understood? How can I say it so all parties can get over it. What do you say and what don't you say?

I would really appreciate all opinions and advice so I can try to do discuss this.

My bf doesn't know about my mental health ie my bipolar diagnosis. I've figured I'll tell him when I have a depressive or manic episode. We've been dating for 4 months and as far as my mood swing due to bipolar goes I'm stable despite the hell in going through with my ex.

So personally, I believe due to what you're going through, the time is right to speak up. But consider how much or exactly what it is that you wish to disclose which is a personal choice. I'm not going to tell my bf about my first and only psychotic trip to the psych ward over a year ago. Because I was stupid and went off my meds and didn't see my psychiatrist, which is something I have learned from experience that I'll never do again.

When me & my boyfriend started texting each other basically novels back and forth in the beginning of our relationship, we got on the subject of either medications or mental health (this was quite a while back so I can't remember which), since he had experience with anti-depressants & was diagnosed with ADHD, I guess I just felt safe telling him about my own issues? I know I definitely had a "this could ruin everything we've basically just begun" feeling after I hit send but I already knew what a compassionate & understanding person he was so I figured if he couldn't handle this than it wasn't meant to be. He's handled all of it super well, and I'm thankful as hell to have him both in my life & as one of my go to people when SHTF.
If I had to choose how to tell him again, I'd probably opt for in person just so we could really TALK about everything. But it was nice to text it so he didn't have to see my emotions or watch me stumble over phrasing things correctly.

Honestly, it's not something that you can really "get over" in a relationship though, just like no one can get over a mental illness. You will have bad days, and your partner will notice. They might go for a silently strong approach & support you while waiting to see if you bring it up, or they might become really concerned & want you to talk about your feelings with them. Their concern might even annoy you (I know sometimes I DON'T want to talk about what I'm going through, even with the people I love most), but it can also be comforting to know that they're there & only want the best for you.
In the end, it's a very personal decision only you can make, if you don't feel ready to talk about it yet, don't push it! I'm sure if this person is someone who is meant to have a place in your life, they'll be patient and understanding.

Hi, this is your life partner right? If they love you, they will completely embrace all of you and any issues you bring up. The time is now, to talk with your partner about all of your struggles. Having mental health issues and being aware of those, mean you are human! Good communication is key to a good relationship. Sit down and talk about about it when you feel comfortable and just be honest, this is the person you want to be with the rest of your life, so go for it!

When i had to explain it to my family i told them my diagnosis and they didnt understand. They know what bipolar means, but didnt know what MY bipolar looks like.
So i wrote a 7 page letter to all of them giving a detailed look into my daily struggles, what meds im on and what they do, and how i get triggered by certain things.
Once they got that letter it opened up thw dialogue and they truly underatand me now.
Good luck!

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It really is a matter of individual circumstances, in my humble opinion. Why must an illness loom large, like a weight on your shoulders? I believe there's another thread here, where I mentioned that when both sides are laying everything out in the open to pursue a more serious involvement seems most appropriate. Because at that point, transparency is a key element of trust.
I was fortunate in that all relevant mh matters were before both of us pursuant to involvement. I'd toss in a bit of caution in listening and or telling since depressive souls can be prone to more self depreciation than is truly necessary.
Hope when the time is right for you, it feels matter of fact in revealing of yourself and they accept you with open arms and an open mind.

I did a lot of writing.

In the beginning, I would attempt to mention that I was "down".... I couldn't really communicate it verbally with any kind of accuracy. Depression wouldn't let me and I didn't have much information that I could give anyway, having not done much research.

So I got frustrated and that led to a kind of isolation because I knew I wouldn't be understood.

Long story short because you know it anyway, I ended up putting ALL of my feelings and thoughts into a notebook....kind of a day by day (and as a side note, reading it now is an eye opener...indicative of a very bad episode and not me at all).
And I left it out for him to read. Then I sent him links to articles and some youtube videos and blogs that FELT like "me".

Sometimes spoken words don't have the same effect, I think. Writing worked.