Is my dad right?

My boyfriend went through a rough period of self-harm and depression. I was there for him during that time and helped him. My dad says that I was his therapist, and that therapists shouldn't fall in love with their patients, so I shouldn't have fallen in love with their patients?

Sounds like your father sees an unhealthy dynamic potential between the two of you. Maybe ask your dad to describe how he would describe a healthy interdependent relationship? That might give clarity to his intended meaning.

Hi Supermeggs12

A little confused here.........as there was no professional contract there and no professional guidelines you agreed/adhered to you simply weren't his therapist...........I'd say (if you weren't with him at the time) you were a aquaintance or friend caring about and supporting someone/a friend who was struggling...........and if you were with him at the time you were being a supportive girlfriend.
And maybe you used some skills therapists might use but those would be in a very different context from being his actual therapist...............
And actually it could be dangerous on many levels if your boyfriend saw you as his therapist if it came to it..........would be very hard for you to maintain some clear objectivity at times/in certain circumstances, and for him to be as open as he might be with someone "uninvolved"............
But maybe your dad is thinking from the perspective of you might fall in love with him because he's allowing/allowed you to feel so needed.............and that isn't always a good thing when we're talking about love.............
Unless your dad has any other unspoken reasons he doesn't want you to be as involved with him/falling in love with him............
Perhaps talk to your dad a little more about his concerns??



Alison

Thank you!

I don't know. The relationship could've possibly been codependent. He did struggle with self-harm before we were together, and I tried to talk him out of it as best I could. He hasn't self-harmed in four months.

What I see is a girlfriend caring about her boyfriend. Maybe your dad doesn't agree with the relationship and that's why he thinks that. You're not his therapist, you were being loving and caring. When something's wrong with me I talk to my bf... So should he be billing me? No. It's called love.

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What do you love about your boyfriend and being with him?

How much does your dad truly understand about mental illness and supporting a partner who displays symptoms of one.