[Mapper]

So a month ago we, or I should say I, bought a car from my husband's friend (I should say more of an acquaintance--they race together but don't really hang out) who lives just outside our subdivision. This car was the guy's ex-wife's car that he was selling for her. We were looking for one and he happened to post on his Facebook page that he was selling his and my H contacted him and he brought it by that night. We each drove it and liked it, but it was to be my car. I wrote the check and gave it to the guy. I barely know the guy other than he races motorcycles with my husband.

So I took the title he gave me and went to the DOL the next day to transfer it and was told it wasn't the most recent. Had H give him a call saying we needed a newer one, which he said he had but forgot to grab it. So the next morning at like 6:30 as I was about to head out the door for work he stops by and drops it off because he's just getting off work and only lives a couple of blocks away. H was still in bed at the time but I got it from him and he gave me his number so I could contact him if there were any more issues. Don't know why he gave me his number when H already had it.

So the next day I go back to the DOL and they tell me there is a still a newer title than the one I have. I text the guy and say there should be another title. He apologizes profusely and says he'll call his ex and see if she has it. He texts me which doesn't come through and then calls saying she's going to the DOL to get an affidavit because she can't find it. Then an hour later or so texts and profusely apologizes for it and says she'll bring it up tomorrow or he'll go get it from her and bring it over. Well she's an hour away so just have her mail it! Finally get it and it's the right one and I got the title transferred about 2 weeks ago.

No contact with the guy since then but last week I, not my husband, get a text from him saying: "Hi Mapparino (I'm paraphrasing there, but he used a nickname to what my name actually is like he was trying to be cute). Just wanted to let you know that I have some nanowax made for your car. If you want, I can swing by this weekend and get it all waxed up for ya if you want. I really don't have a life anyways LOL. It's made for black cars with 5 layers of clear coat. Anywho, just thought I'd say hi."

Okay, I barely know the guy and he's getting all cutesy with me and wanting to come by and not just drop the wax off but wax the car?? I even looked up what nanowax is and it's for ALL cars, not just black ones so why did he say that? My husband worked that weekend as well so there's no way I wanted this guy coming over and why didn't he just contact my husband about it? I showed H the text and he got kind of upset thinking this guy is trying to creep in on me. He called him back and said "Dude you can drop off the wax but you don't need to come over and wax it yourself. That's a bit much. And if you want anything else just call or text ME okay?"

I mean that's like an equivalent of me selling a car to a coworker who I kind of know and her husband that I've met briefly once or twice. The husband is the guy actually buying it and then only texting the husband about coming over to wax the car and "just saying hi"! Why would I "just be saying hi" to the husband of a coworker when you barely know me?? Oh yeah and it's been almost a week now and the guy hasn't dropped off the wax as my husband said he could!

Am I right to find this odd?

In a word yes. It sounds like he might have been chancing it with you but your husband's reaction has probably scared him off.

If it's unsettling for you maybe block his number on your phone just in case?

[unaluna]

Well if you like the car, maybe he felt bad about the registration snafu, so maybe he was trying to get himself invited to a home cooked meal, his being divorced now. In exchange for waxing the car. His social life might be less than it was before the divorce and he thought you guys were nice? I could see where other people would really have been ticked off about the registrations, but you were pretty cool about it. Maybe he messes up little things like that a lot.

[LeeeLeee]

Originally Posted by Mapper

So a month ago we, or I should say I, bought a car from my husband's friend (I should say more of an acquaintance--they race together but don't really hang out) who lives just outside our subdivision. This car was the guy's ex-wife's car that he was selling for her. We were looking for one and he happened to post on his Facebook page that he was selling his and my H contacted him and he brought it by that night. We each drove it and liked it, but it was to be my car. I wrote the check and gave it to the guy. I barely know the guy other than he races motorcycles with my husband.

So I took the title he gave me and went to the DOL the next day to transfer it and was told it wasn't the most recent. Had H give him a call saying we needed a newer one, which he said he had but forgot to grab it. So the next morning at like 6:30 as I was about to head out the door for work he stops by and drops it off because he's just getting off work and only lives a couple of blocks away. H was still in bed at the time but I got it from him and he gave me his number so I could contact him if there were any more issues. Don't know why he gave me his number when H already had it.

So the next day I go back to the DOL and they tell me there is a still a newer title than the one I have. I text the guy and say there should be another title. He apologizes profusely and says he'll call his ex and see if she has it. He texts me which doesn't come through and then calls saying she's going to the DOL to get an affidavit because she can't find it. Then an hour later or so texts and profusely apologizes for it and says she'll bring it up tomorrow or he'll go get it from her and bring it over. Well she's an hour away so just have her mail it! Finally get it and it's the right one and I got the title transferred about 2 weeks ago.

No contact with the guy since then but last week I, not my husband, get a text from him saying: "Hi Mapparino (I'm paraphrasing there, but he used a nickname to what my name actually is like he was trying to be cute). Just wanted to let you know that I have some nanowax made for your car. If you want, I can swing by this weekend and get it all waxed up for ya if you want. I really don't have a life anyways LOL. It's made for black cars with 5 layers of clear coat. Anywho, just thought I'd say hi."

Okay, I barely know the guy and he's getting all cutesy with me and wanting to come by and not just drop the wax off but wax the car?? I even looked up what nanowax is and it's for ALL cars, not just black ones so why did he say that? My husband worked that weekend as well so there's no way I wanted this guy coming over and why didn't he just contact my husband about it? I showed H the text and he got kind of upset thinking this guy is trying to creep in on me. He called him back and said "Dude you can drop off the wax but you don't need to come over and wax it yourself. That's a bit much. And if you want anything else just call or text ME okay?"

I mean that's like an equivalent of me selling a car to a coworker who I kind of know and her husband that I've met briefly once or twice. The husband is the guy actually buying it and then only texting the husband about coming over to wax the car and "just saying hi"! Why would I "just be saying hi" to the husband of a coworker when you barely know me?? Oh yeah and it's been almost a week now and the guy hasn't dropped off the wax as my husband said he could!

Am I right to find this odd?

Yes. It's good to trust your instincts in these sort of situations. His texting you and all the extra drama did seem rather untoward, in my opinion.

[Mapper]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Well if you like the car, maybe he felt bad about the registration snafu, so maybe he was trying to get himself invited to a home cooked meal, his being divorced now. In exchange for waxing the car. His social life might be less than it was before the divorce and he thought you guys were nice? I could see where other people would really have been ticked off about the registrations, but you were pretty cool about it. Maybe he messes up little things like that a lot.

It really wasn't his fault though, it was his ex's because it was her car and he was just selling it for her. She's the one who didn't give him the right title to give to me so it's not his fault. I do understand what you mean though by trying to make up for it, but asking to come and wax a car a month after you sell it and 2 weeks after the registration got turned over is a bit much. And why didn't he just contact my husband about waxing it? And why be all cutesy when he barely knows who I am?

[Moogieotter]

I woulda gotten a free waxing. Then next time upped the ante to free wine he could bring w waxing number two.

[unaluna]

Cuz maybe he thought you would be doing the cooking. And you were the one who was inconvenienced. And you would be the one who would have cute girlfriends to introduce him to?

Unless you really think he has the hots for you.

[~Christina]

If it walks like a duck... Talks like a duck.... let it wax like a duck .. I suppose !

I don't think that anybody could say if it's right or wrong that you find it odd...what you find odd is what you find odd....

[gentlegianted]

Sounds like you were picking up a bad vibe. Good for you. I appreciate how you got your husband involved right away. Follow your gut in this. My girlfriend has an expression for this..."You kept up your relationship guardrails"

If he approaches you again ask him his intentions on a phone call with your husband listening. Then see if he squirms or if you believe his answer. That may be the best medicine he has ever experienced. Take the high road. Cheers to integrity!

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

I woulda gotten a free waxing. Then next time upped the ante to free wine he could bring w waxing number two.

lol, moogie.

That guy was hitting on you, plain and simple. That's good your H told him to chill out.

[Bill3]

I thought the text was inappropriate.

[Moogieotter]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

lol, moogie.

That guy was hitting on you, plain and simple. That's good your H told him to chill out.

A good detail guy can be hard to find these days. I do think he might have been innocent and such. Either way, show a lil leg, get some free wine seems to be a romantic story as old as time.

Mainly making light. I don't think it's too terrible of a situation compared to many. Thanks,

moogs

[ComfortablyNumb5]

He could be hitting on you yes. Even though I have a bf, men don't seem to care. Some men out there just don't get that picture that "hello...I'm NOT single!" It's annoying and when that happens I know to back off and tone down communication. And when that doesn't work, I let my bf answer the text/call lol. Or he may of just been lonely and wanted to make friends in the neighborhood though. I would of accepted the wax but said that hubby would do the waxing. Who knows, maybe he's just lonely and maybe there's still a chance to make a new friend even though hubby May of scared him off.

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[divine1966]

I didn't think it was so that inappropriate unless he said let me wax your car when your husband isn't home. He offered to wax a car, not something else. Could be that he always talks in this manner. Maybe I am naive.

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[Mapper]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

He could be hitting on you yes. Even though I have a bf, men don't seem to care. Some men out there just don't get that picture that "hello...I'm NOT single!" It's annoying and when that happens I know to back off and tone down communication. And when that doesn't work, I let my bf answer the text/call lol. Or he may of just been lonely and wanted to make friends in the neighborhood though. I would of accepted the wax but said that hubby would do the waxing. Who knows, maybe he's just lonely and maybe there's still a chance to make a new friend even though hubby May of scared him off.

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Well he's not lonely. He knows people in the neighborhood since his parents have lived there for 20+ years. He says he's best friends with the guys across the street from him. Plus, he seems to spend a large amount of time at his ex's house an hour away. I don't understand that. Every time I told him about the wrong title he'd say "I'm going down there tonight so I'll pick it up for you" or "I'm currently down here so I'll grab it". Why are you guys divorced then?? They don't have any kids...just hanging out!

[Mapper]

There was a shooting in our area over the weekend where a jealous boyfriend went and shot his ex girlfriend who had broken up with him a week before. For whatever reason, this prompted H to say to me "Did I ever tell you what that guy said to me when I called him?" I said no. He tells me that this guy said "Well I texted you first but it didn't go through for some reason so I texted her". That seems odd! You have his number in your phone and the phone calls work fine, but the text won't go through??

It's weird that he would text me at all, but I find it even weirder (if indeed it is true) that he would text H in the first place after not having spoken with him for a month and ask if he'd like to have him come over a wax a car! I mean really? A guy asking another guy to come over a wax a car that no longer belongs to him?? Wouldn't any guy find it weird that a "sort of" friend would offer to come over and wax a car while we go about our usual business??

[divine1966]

There are a lot of weird people out there and I would not waste time analyzing their actions.

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[unaluna]

I got the impression that he thinks the wax is special for the paint color. So hes like, now what do i do with this wax, i should have waxed it before i sold it. He sounds a little dependent or needy. Like a dog who follows you home and you feed him and now hes yours forever.

[Mapper]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I got the impression that he thinks the wax is special for the paint color. So hes like, now what do i do with this wax, i should have waxed it before i sold it. He sounds a little dependent or needy. Like a dog who follows you home and you feed him and now hes yours forever.

Soooo, if he doesn't know what to do with it then why hasn't he dropped it off then like H said he could do??

I looked up this "nanowax" and nowhere do I see it is ONLY for black cars. It's for ANY car! And I don't remember if I mentioned this before, but there were a few bottles of cleaning stuff in the trunk when he sold it to us. After I got this text it got me curious as to exactly what those bottles were since I didn't pay much attention earlier. I go out and open the trunk and see the EXACT thing he's talking about in a spray bottle! And the car pictured on the front of the bottle is red! Only black cars?? Pfft!

[divine1966]

You seem still upset over it. Is there something you need help with? We don't know why he texted as we don't know him. You can ask him directly or block him if you worry but we don't know the guy and why he texted. People do strange things all the time

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[Mapper]

Originally Posted by divine1966

You seem still upset over it. Is there something you need help with? We don't know why he texted as we don't know him. You can ask him directly or block him if you worry but we don't know the guy and why he texted. People do strange things all the time

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Just me looking at every angle and dissecting the situation. Don't know why, but I just am.

[unaluna]

Maybe he left some pot in the car? Or stg...

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Maybe he left some pot in the car? Or stg...

you crack me up. There are 20 potential scenarios why he texted. This one is the funniest

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Originally Posted by Mapper

Just me looking at every angle and dissecting the situation. Don't know why, but I just am.

I tend to overthink so I can understand this. It sounds like he's unsettled you somehow.

If he was hitting on you it sounds like H put him in his place. If it helps any I'm fairly sure a friend of my husband tried to hit on me once, it was confusing but I had zero interest, pretty soon afterwards he had an affair and left his wife, and then another affair and left that woman. So I've always felt my instincts were bang on - we normally know when someone is hitting on us even if we'd prefer to think they weren't (if that makes sense?).

If a person gets an emphatic 'No' it usually puts them off. It did with my H's friend and it sounds like it has with yours too.