[mindmadness]

When I develop tender feelings towards someone, I want to ask them when they were born as a sort of bonding. If I don't know their age I feel as though something is missing in the relationship. I have a lot of trouble talking to my peers because my interests are so esoteric. Who really cares about my math discoveries and songs with the 1950s chord progression? It seems that interesting people don't like me and those who do like me bore me. What should I do with all this? Thanks in advance.

[Skeezyks]

Hello mindmadness: Well... the Skeezyks doesn't really know what you do with all of this. But I think I can sympathize somewhat with your predicament. I've rarely had friends during my lifetime. And I haven't had any at all for many years now.

Part of the reason for this is my interests have always been so different from anyone else I knew that there was simply no basis for any kind of relationship to develop. After a while I just stopped trying to be friends with anyone. And at this stage in my life I live a pretty solitary lifestyle. I neither want nor seek friends. I just prefer to keep to myself.

So, anyway, I guess my perspective on this is... simply pursue what interests you & worry about other people. Over time, you may in fact come across some individuals with whom you share common interests. But, if not, better to pursue what's of interest to you than to try to "reconfigure" yourself in order to make yourself attractive to other people. They would not do the same for you. I doubt that's of much help. But it is the way I see it.

[healingme4me]

Why wouldn't you already know when they were born before developing tender feelings?

I think where interests and hobbys are concerned it's not always easy to find like minded souls. But when you do, that sense of isolation dissapates.

"Interrogate your hidden assumptions."-Cornel West

[mindmadness]

Right, I should mention that I develop tender feelings for people who I may have met once and who would be completely inappropriate romantic partners. For instance, I'm about to be 18 and I like guys in their 50s and upwards.

[Talthybius]

I read this post and your previous ones, and they are confusing.

Ok, so you like guys triple your age. Do you know why?

[mindmadness]

Confusing to me as well because I don't always understand myself. It may have something to do with seeing people my age as generally shallow. I especially have a bias towards people who don't capatalize "I" or the beginning of a sentence and write in text lingo. It makes them seem unintelligent and not worth talking to. Intellectually I know this is unfair, but it's how I feel nevertheless.

[Talthybius]

Young people are not more shallow or less intellectual than older people.

And as you get older yourself, you will start to cherish that fire and liveliness young people have and old people don't.

But really, you are only interested in people triple your age because there has been some person your age too lazy to capitalize an 'I'. I mean, that is laziness or lack of 'OCD'. Not lack of intelligence.

I have yet to find an old person interested in the math I work on. The only people interested are my peers and their interest is purely professional. People generally aren't interested in math, unless they need it. Even if they know lot's of math themselves.

[LadyShadow]

Age really doesn't have to do with spelling trust me. I am 36 and I have seen men in their 40's and 50's spell like complete imbeciles. Its all a state of mind. I know I have trouble connecting to, and what I find I need to do is look inward and find out what I like for me, not for anyone else.