Need some practical advice about moving in...

Hey guys! I need some practical, down to earth advice here. My boyfriend of 18 months and I moved in together in January. He's in the military and got transferred cross-country in July. I had nothing holding me there, and I like adventure, so I came too! Now, here's the thing. He makes triple what I do a year, and I'm still a student, so I can't afford nearly what he can. He decided to buy a house out here because he can afford that, and the mortgage is similar to our rent before, so we decided to each pay what we did there, and we've split it up to be proportionate to our income. He moved before I did, and we had the understanding that I would follow two weeks later. His parents came to help him move. When I got here, his mom had bought all kinds of new furniture to fill up the new house. That would be fine, except she has hidden--HIDDEN--my stuff all over the house, in closets, in the garage, without him noticing and now there is barely room for it. On top of that, my first day here, before I even had the chance to interact with her, she tells me to come out on the porch and explodes at me. Basically she's old-fashioned and I'm a gold-digging ***** who is corrupting her son and shouldn't be here. That situation has since been resolved (yes he took my side) but now I feel so uncomfortable in this house. It feels like it's hers and his, not mine. I've upped how much rent I'm paying, but I feel like I have no right to this house. Today I had set up some photos and a calendar on the fridge and said "look at my fridge!" and he says, "I'm sorry, whose fridge?" And I know he was joking but that comment HURT. I know it's his house, but I am paying rent and I need to be able to feel at home. I don't want to feel like I'm just living here on his good graces. I split all the grocery bills and I'm the only one who cleans...I'm not mooching. I'm having a hard time expressing how I feel about this, but I want some advice on how to express this to him...that I need to be more than some girl who is just living here until he decides she isn't. That while I'm lucky he lets me live here, he's lucky to have someone who loves him like I do. I think. Am I being super oversensitive?

Maybe he was looking for you to say "our fridge", not yours or his. Wishing you peace.

Hi Rayne,

When you first moved in, there must not have been any understanding about where you stood and where your relationship was going.

Then when he got transferred, again there must not have still been any understanding.

You say you followed because you like adventure. Be honest, you followed because you love him and don't want to lose him.

There's something weird going on with his mother not approving of you- why?

And about your comment about 'my fridge', you should say 'our fridge' from now on.

not sure I have advice, but I know I would be feeling VERY uncomfortable with the whole situation...how much did you and your boyfriend talk about this move before you made it? it just sounds weird all around with the attitudes son and mom seem to have about your presence there. I hope for the best!

Why do you have two identical threads? I replied on your other one

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