[Rayne Selene]

Hey guys! I need some practical, down to earth advice here. My boyfriend of 18 months and I moved in together in January. He's in the military and got transferred cross-country in July. I had nothing holding me there, and I like adventure, so I came too! Now, here's the thing. He makes triple what I do a year, and I'm still a student, so I can't afford nearly what he can. He decided to buy a house out here because he can afford that, and the mortgage is similar to our rent before, so we decided to each pay what we did there, and we've split it up to be proportionate to our income. He moved before I did, and we had the understanding that I would follow two weeks later. His parents came to help him move. When I got here, his mom had bought all kinds of new furniture to fill up the new house. That would be fine, except she has hidden--HIDDEN--my stuff all over the house, in closets, in the garage, without him noticing and now there is barely room for it. On top of that, my first day here, before I even had the chance to interact with her, she tells me to come out on the porch and explodes at me. Basically she's old-fashioned and I'm a gold-digging ***** who is corrupting her son and shouldn't be here. That situation has since been resolved (yes he took my side) but now I feel so uncomfortable in this house. It feels like it's hers and his, not mine. I've upped how much rent I'm paying, but I feel like I have no right to this house. Today I had set up some photos and a calendar on the fridge and said "look at my fridge!" and he says, "I'm sorry, whose fridge?" And I know he was joking but that comment HURT. I know it's his house, but I am paying rent and I need to be able to feel at home. I don't want to feel like I'm just living here on his good graces. I split all the grocery bills and I'm the only one who cleans...I'm not mooching. I'm having a hard time expressing how I feel about this, but I want some advice on how to express this to him...that I need to be more than some girl who is just living here until he decides she isn't. That while I'm lucky he lets me live here, he's lucky to have someone who loves him like I do. I think. Am I being super oversensitive?

[Crazy Hitch]

Sounds as if he's treating it more as "his" house beyond just the given that he owns it. And I don't think his mother has made it easier.

Here's what I think. It's my opinion only.

He, unfortunately owns the property and refurbished it.

Speak to him over a dinner perhaps and ask what things of yours you're able to put where that he'd be happy with to add your own little touches.

Telling him how you feel, from the heart, might help. That it makes you feel like more of a border in a house than a partner. He doesn't seem to see you as an "equal" in the house .... Albeit he was joking about the fridge - it was a crap joke.

[divine1966]

Nope. Not overly sensitive. I can relate to how you feel. I lived with my ex BF in his house. He had the house before we met so eventually I have moved there. It was never mine. It was a pain. I left him for other reasons but I promised to myself I will never live with anyone not married and will never live in other people's houses. I recently got married. We only moved in together after official engagement and we are currently renting for few reasons. But it is a cozy place that is OURS. And if we buy something it will be ours. I don't want to advice you but I think you deserve better

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