[Brasucasulu]

I'm very concerned about my brother. I am afraid he's a pathological liar.
He lies about most of things in his life. We have been separated when we're small kids, I left my country when I was very young and went to study in Europe. Although my bro and I always communicate we grew up on different worlds.
Three years ago he sent me a long email, saying that he was very ill with heart disease, collected ok and diabetes. He is 4 years younger than me, and I was very surprised that he has so many health issues. Suddenly he stopped speaking about his illness and told me that he was trying to go the military, which I found strange as he was 32 and it is a little late for the army, then he said he'd try the police. He kept posting pictures on Facebook with military and police uniforms, eventhough we all know he's never been to the police.
He also told me that he had 100k in his bank account.
Two days ago he send me a whatsapp message saying that he is very ill, that he's going to the clinic to get a tomography of his head, because he thinks he has brain cancer.
I got so concerned because this is something very serious. I asked which Doctor he went to, and he said that he didn't. He just went to the clinic and asked to do the exam. He's now looking for a doctor to read the images.
I have spoken to him today and he said that he will only get the result in one month because he has no money to pay for a private exams, and that's what takes on public hospitals.
I'm sure he's lying to me on all of this. And I don't know how to approach him. We are just the opposite, and I'd rather say the truth even with all the consequences.
My brother needs help and I don't know what to do.

[s4ndm4n2006]

he has 100k in the bank but can't afford to go to a doc to get the images reviewed for possible brain cancer? #1 lie caught. any normal person that would be facing something so serious would do whatever it took to make sure they were either ok or diagnosed so they could get treatment. $100k isn't just "some' money in the bank it's a good amount and very contrasting to the idea he can't even afford private exams.

Interesting that he spoke of heart disease, diabetes and such but has not said more about it in the interim until he mentioned brain cancer and what a variety of illnesses. They seem very random and seem to be very much attention seeking or something.

Tell him the reality of why you question his issues and what's going on with him. Tell him very matter of fact that he mentioned having all this money and then later mentioned he can't afford exams. how did he even pay for a clinic that surely had to do MRI for brain scan and that in and of itself is nothing cheap.

[Brasucasulu]

My biggest fear is if one day he's really sick. It is very a very stressful situation. What if he isn't lying this time?

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

he has 100k in the bank but can't afford to go to a doc to get the images reviewed for possible brain cancer? #1 lie caught. any normal person that would be facing something so serious would do whatever it took to make sure they were either ok or diagnosed so they could get treatment. $100k isn't just "some' money in the bank it's a good amount and very contrasting to the idea he can't even afford private exams.

Interesting that he spoke of heart disease, diabetes and such but has not said more about it in the interim until he mentioned brain cancer and what a variety of illnesses. They seem very random and seem to be very much attention seeking or something.

Tell him the reality of why you question his issues and what's going on with him. Tell him very matter of fact that he mentioned having all this money and then later mentioned he can't afford exams. how did he even pay for a clinic that surely had to do MRI for brain scan and that in and of itself is nothing cheap.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Brasucasulu

My biggest fear is if one day he's really sick. It is very a very stressful situation. What if he isn't lying this time?

but that's not on YOU. if someone cries wolf and then some day happens to get sick it's on them for doing that. this is why you call him out on his stories and ask for evidence of any of it. matter of factly ask if you can see the dx or progrnosis or whatever they call it. ask him if he can tell you how much the exams would be (not that you can help but someone that says that they can't afford it must know the price) YOu can find out a lot by testing the information to seek consistency. When you find inconsistency in their story you probe further.

If you do all of this with an air of curiosity and concern, someone that is truthful will not take offense.

[Brasucasulu]

I have spoken to him a few minutes. I told hm to look for a psychologist because he needs help with issues. I didn't mention lies, I just told me him that something is wrong, and that he might know what I'm talking abou. He agree that there se thing not right.
Thank you again

n

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

but that's not on YOU. if someone cries wolf and then some day happens to get sick it's on them for doing that. this is why you call him out on his stories and ask for evidence of any of it. matter of factly ask if you can see the dx or progrnosis or whatever they call it. ask him if he can tell you how much the exams would be (not that you can help but someone that says that they can't afford it must know the price) YOu can find out a lot by testing the information to seek consistency. When you find inconsistency in their story you probe further.

If you do all of this with an air of curiosity and concern, someone that is truthful will not take offense.

I knew someone like this.

It seems, in his case, to be a real illness that should be approached with real compassion. He does need help. He isn't crying wolf, imho. I don't think he's doing this with intent to hurt you.
Some people you can call them out on and it works. Some you shouldn't.

I am sorry I don't know how to approach a situation like this except in a non-confrontational way...you seem to know this...