Middle-child syndrome at 43?

Yesterday I had kind of a strange experience involving my parents and I'm seeking feedback on what it means.

I'm 43 years old and the second of six - three girls, then three boys. Growing up, my dad was always a little bit distant with us, but my mother was very involved and caring.

My neighbor is an artist and my mother wanted some sketches of us kids taken from photos of when we were younger. I've been the go between, so I've negotiated pricing, made copies of the pictures for him, sent him a down payment, etc. He texted rough draft sketches of the six of us to me yesterday and I forwarded them to my parents for her feedback.

When they sent back their opinions, it was clear they'd been studying them carefully and had comments like: **'s face is a little too round, there needs to be more sparkle in **'s eyes, ** is perfect ... They had feedback for every sketch, even if just to approve it, except mine. Not a word was said, or has been said about the sketch of me.

I understand that they're getting older, they're busy, maybe they thought they'd already said something ... I don't know. But why would they completely overlook mine?

I'm not totally torn up about it, but it did get me thinking. I've always had an almost insatiable need for approval - from anyone. Knowing someone doesn't like me or has criticized me is very difficult. Could this need have roots in being a middle child? I never felt overlooked by my parents growing up, is it possible to have middle child syndrome in middle age? And how do I deal with it?

Thank you for your feedback!

What if you ask them for feedback on the sketch of you?

It depends on how I approached it. If I were calm and rational, I'd get nervous laughter, denials, and an apology. They'd probably tell me they meant me instead of one of my sisters in one of their comments. If I were to be emotional, my mom would burst into tears and carry on until I ended up consoling her. Then the whole thing would be forgotten.

I don't remember ever feeling overlooked in childhood, though I always knew my parents had their favorites and I wasn't one of them. But now, more often than not, I'm the one who gets skipped. Like I said, I'm not upset about the sketches, per se, but I wonder if it's a symptom of bigger problems. I have a very hard time feeling anything. Everyone talks about how their children are their biggest joy and I just don't feel that way. I don't feel like I am capable of deep, lasting love. Could these two things be related or am I letting myself get in a tangle over nothing?

I often wonder about personality styles tossed into the mix, plus the extra friction oldest to second. When it's good it's good, but when it's bad it's really bad. Your post made me think about my second born pulling me in next to him for a family photo at a baseball game, the other night.
I'm an only so this birth order thing, I find fascinating.

Maybe it's irritation with your siblings that came flooding back? Them getting attention resembled the past?

Let me clarify, attention. Not in an envious way for a middle child view, but darnit my parents still need to tiptoe around their emotions type of attention?

"Investigate your hidden assumptions."-Cornel West

I think it may have been an oversight on their behalf. It's not a nice oversight, but I think that there's nothing more to it than that. I wonder if, because you were the go-between negotiating things, that may have had a role to play? Although I'm not sure what because even having just typed that has me confused. If it's just the picture and them not commenting, I wouldn't over think it. Perhaps just ask. You could say in a light hearted way, with a smile, "I noticed you commented on everyone ... and you didn't comment on mine. Guess mine was perfect" And see what they say.