[LeeeLeee]

What are some ways you are working through a break up?

When it comes to coping with the pain, I've discovered the only way out is to proceed through it and take this opportunity to face the pain and try to learn about myself.

A few tips and resources for people going through this. Here is what is helping me:

-No contact, at all, ever.
-Seeing a therapist.
-Participating in the Psych Central Forums!
-Working through the stages of grief, if you can. There are some excellent articles on grief here on Psych Central. There is also a quiz, if you have trouble identifying specifically that you are grieving. Many people have trouble making that connection, associating grief with death, but it is actually LOSS.

Grief Quiz - Psych Central

-The book by Susan Elliott called "Getting Past Your Break Up" The author has a Youtube Channel. Watching her videos was a key to my current progress. I'm still working through the relationship and life inventory she introduces through her book. If reading a book is not something you can handle right now, I recommend the videos every day.

https://www.youtube.com/user/GettingPastYourPast/videos

-Another crucial element to healing is writing in my journal. At first I wrote in it every day. It is a simple computer document, I don't even care about my spelling or writing style because it's for my eyes only. START ONE.. GET THIS OUT OF YOUR BODY AND LOOK AT THE FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS COMING OUT OF YOU. You will be amazed by how helpful it is.

I'm 45 and I've never experienced such a devastating break up. I'm done talking about him but I'm definitely still trying to work through my anger and pain.

So, again...What are some things that are helping your through your break up?

[healingme4me]

Making a ritual out of it, I've found helpful. Remove items that serve as reminders. Set aside an evening to watch sappy movies. Write down a lessons learned list. Write out what was missing as a key piece of what the next relationship will need for it to be worthwhile. Pamper myself.

[xRavenx]

All the tips listed above are great. Seeing my therapist has helped me during a break up. Also, Doing No Contact has really helped me focus on myself, and it made me realize how I was neglecting myself before. Also, watching self-help videos on healing from a break up and reading has helped me. Allowing yourself to grieve is important and so is seeing friends and focusing on hobbies/interests. If you feel you are idealizing the person, write down reasons why the break up was for the best, and read that list to yourself when you need to. Take care of yourself and know that time heals.