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#1
Sep 17, 2016, 10:54 PM
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How many of you women, go and get yourselves ready, showering, make up, change of clothes, etc. When date day comes and then at the time of when your suppose to meet up, your date cancels, and you ended up getting ready for nothing. What would you do, how can you avoid this from happening again, going out of the way to get ready and then hear the date is cancelled, should you get ready at the last minute or get ready ahead of time or what would you do? How many of you have been in this situation before?
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#2
Sep 18, 2016, 12:19 AM
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I don't think that cancelled dates is a normal occurrence. unless true emergency. Like a snow storm or was taken to a hospital. I can't think of any times dates got cancel for no serious reason. I don't think you can avoid emergency kind of occurrences. But other than that the only way to avoid is not to date men who aren't interested or are flakey. What was the reason for cancellations? If there is no reason I wouldn't date him again
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 Crazy Hitch, xRavenx
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#3
Sep 18, 2016, 01:13 AM
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Maybe based off your other thread he just felt that it be best to end things after the 4 dates than to prolong this obviously mismatched situation.
Just a thought. Good luck
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Crazy Hitch
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#4
Sep 18, 2016, 01:31 AM
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I haven't been in that situation but if someone newish stood me up at the very last minute without an extremely legitimate reason I'd give them the boot ....
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#5
Sep 18, 2016, 02:59 AM
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If there was no emergency on his part and he just stood you up, I would not date him again, But what I would do since you were all ready to go out is go out any way with out him, Call a friend or just go out by yourself, Even if it is just to a resturant or some thing, I would not let him ruin your evening
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| Crazy Hitch, xRavenx
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#6
Sep 18, 2016, 03:22 AM
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It is hard to say without more information. Is this the guy that live an hour from you that you have had four dates with? Were these weekday dates or weekend? What were the plans for the date. Why did he say he needed to cancel? Has this happened more than once?
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
| Crazy Hitch
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#7
Sep 18, 2016, 07:19 AM
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Oh if it's the same guy that you have dead silence with and nothing in common, then I guess it might explain things but still it's rude of him to just cancel rather than simply not schedule anymore dates.
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| Crazy Hitch
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#8
Sep 18, 2016, 07:30 AM
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I would not see the person again, period. When I was dating, the men would always confirm the date ahead of time, usually more than once. I remember one didn't and I was anxious because of this. I spoke to my male T about it and he told me I should not meet my date if he doesn't confirm, that it's a red flag. I took his advice but decided to call and cancel just in case. Lo and behold, he had forgotten all about our plans. So I remembered that advice going forward and saved myself a lot of disappointment.
Last edited by Lauliza; Sep 18, 2016 at 09:10 AM. |
| Crazy Hitch, xRavenx
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#9
Sep 18, 2016, 07:43 AM
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If they were to just not contact to cancel at all, I'd do the same and not contact them.
If they cancel at the very last minute and it's not an emergency, well that's just plain rude and I'd evaluate if they are worth the time of mine that they are wasting before giving them a chance to do it again. If they cancel with enough advance warning for me to make other plans then I'm fine although possibly annoyed - because it's respecting that my time is worthwhile. If they cancel at the last minute with a very valid reason then it's totally forgivable.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| Crazy Hitch, Trippin2.0, xRavenx
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#10
Sep 18, 2016, 07:52 AM
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Yes, I've had it happen a few times in my dating career... Jerk totally canceled the last minute or just stood me up. It hurts. Stupidly, my low self esteem had me even keep dating the guy sometimes. It didn't happen much and I did find better quality guys who didn't pull that crap and moved on.
When it's going to happen, there's a little voice in the back of your mind that knows it's going to happen. Listen to that voice and prepare yourself. So what if you put on make up and do hair. If you look nice and get stood up, go out with friends or alone or whatever.
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
 xRavenx
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| Crazy Hitch, Lauliza, xRavenx
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#11
Sep 18, 2016, 11:53 AM
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Well this guy did cancel on me at the last minute but only because he said his mother had to see him.
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| Crazy Hitch
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#12
Sep 18, 2016, 03:02 PM
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What was going on with his mother that he chose to cancel with you?
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| Crazy Hitch
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#13
Sep 18, 2016, 03:40 PM
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Quote:
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#14
Sep 18, 2016, 05:06 PM
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Sounds like a bit of a cop out excuse to me (unless, of course, she has a terminal illness or something)
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#15
Sep 18, 2016, 05:48 PM
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The mother had to see him so he can deliver her Meds or take her to doctors appointments? Or they just wanted to hang out? Is mother very ill or very elderly? My mom has cancer so we often have to cancel things when something is going wrong.
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| xRavenx
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#16
Sep 18, 2016, 08:58 PM
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Years ago it happened to me. It was a holiday, we were planning on spending it together with my daughter and close friends. I made lunch, etc. But he never showed up! I was livid! Not only because he stood me up, but now my child is involved! Well, he heard my mouth!
And yep, you can believe it never happened again. He eventually became history. |
| xRavenx
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#17
Sep 19, 2016, 05:24 PM
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He simply said his mother was demanding to see him right then and there. So him and I will go on another date soon.
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#18
Sep 19, 2016, 07:33 PM
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There was one guy who did this to me a few times. I feel for you, and I hate that feeling of getting ready, just to be let down. There was one time the guy cancelled because it was a legit emergency, but the few other times were not good enough excuses. Then, when we broke up, a month or so later, I gave him another chance. Well, it was the wrong decision, because a leopard does not change its stripes. He said how much he missed me and made plans, but then a few days later when the day came where we were supposed to go out, he ghosted me completely. I was very hurt by this, and it was a wakeup call. I now see that he is a selfish narcissist and that I gave him too many excuses. Live and learn. When it happens once, shame on them....twice, shame on me, like that saying. I do realize my self esteem issues played a role in me making myself too available to this person who did not deserve it.
My advice: do not even contact him at this point. If he reaches out, apologizes, and plans to make another date...well, then it's up to you whether to give him one more chance. However, it sounds to me that this person is not worth your time, and it's a red flag that he cancelled last minute unless it was an emergency or he was sick (even in that case, I'd be on guard to see if he is consistent, or is he a flake?). I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who are consistent and are worth your time, so it's likely not worth it spending another minute on this person. |
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#19
Sep 19, 2016, 08:24 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| Trippin2.0, xRavenx
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#20
Sep 19, 2016, 10:59 PM
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Quote:
Be wary. |
| healingme4me, Trippin2.0
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#21
Sep 20, 2016, 06:56 AM
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I don't know of too many moms that wouldn't understand their adult son's busy schedule.
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| Trippin2.0
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#22
Sep 21, 2016, 02:15 PM
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Ok so if you had a date with a girl you were seeing, and your mom called and said I need to see you NOW. You would not go and see her and cancel the date?
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#23
Sep 21, 2016, 03:26 PM
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Quote:
I would arrange a mutually convenient time to go see her. If she were to get upset about it: well, that would be unfortunate but it wouldn't change my decision. |
| healingme4me, Trippin2.0
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#24
Sep 21, 2016, 03:29 PM
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Or he'd take the date with him to run in and help his mother with something.
I'd like to see my son break a date because I said I need to see him NOW. 
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| Trippin2.0
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#25
Sep 21, 2016, 03:59 PM
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If I had a date with a man, I'd expect my mom to not make a sudden demand such as that. As compelling as it would need to be, it wouldn't have been in her nature to make any such demands.
I remember a time when I felt conflicted when I was visiting my ailing stepfather in the hospital. An opportunity for going to a Red Sox game came up, he looked at me and threatened to haunt me in his afterlife if I even considered staying bedside. |
| Bill3, xRavenx
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| Bill3, Trippin2.0
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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