[thriftfabulous]

So I am 28 and my partner(not married because of ssi) is 38 and we've been together 5 1/2 years. In 2015 I left because I found suboxone in my house twice coworkers of his told my father(my parents knew him before I did through drag racing) that he was gambling. He admitted to gambling once but first lied about it. We ended up getting back together and things were okay for a while but they've hit the fan. He's always coming home late saying he worked late but yet theirs no money. We don't have joint bank acts because of my check but I never know how much money he has until he has none and he has some excuse. I've had to borrow money for us to live and we live in subsidized housing. His hygiene is terrible too. To the point where he disgusts me. I've asked him about stuff but he denies it all. He randomly falls asleep. Almost narcoleptic like. He's supposed to work 3am to 11am but he's been coming home later and later. I don't drive so I'm stuck here all day and a lot of times without money so if me and my mom do want to go somewhere we can't and I have mental disabilities as it. He had bad hygiene. Wears stained clothes. I.e. Wears good clothes and ruins them, doesn't shower every day, doesn't get his hair cut when he needs to, dirty nails, teeth rotting and he won't go to the dentist. I have few options. Stay, kick him out and pay my bills and literally have nothing left over or move back in with my parents. Help!! He constantly leaves his debit card here, wallet there, something happend yada yada. But yet come th weekend he races. He's terribly irresponsible and doesn't help around the house. We don't have a washer and dryer and have to go to the laundry Matt. The damn **** needed done a month ago but he can't not race and help do laundry?

[Trippin2.0]

I would go home if I were in your shoes.

[Bill3]

Why do you continue to stay with him?

[Rose76]

What you see is what there is. And, as time goes by, he's going to get even worse. I guess all he offers is a little bit of help with the household bills. I base that on you saying that, if you kick him out, you'll "pay (your) bills and literally have nothing left."

That little bit of extra money coming in doesn't sound worth it to me. You were smart not to have a joint bank account with him. I don't think I'ld be too quick to give up my housing subsidy, if I were you. Think that out carefully before moving home with your mom.

I think you do have a 4rth option. Dump him, keep your apartment and learn to manage your income so that it stretches a little further. Just about anyone can find ways to do that. With you having a small but steady income that is reliable, you can budget better than relying on contributions from him that are totally unreliable. (He's a compulsive gambler. He'll only get worse.)

Dumping him will feel like you're doing something harsh. You're not. His life is always going to suck because of the way he lives it. Don't get sucked down by his problems. You have enough to do coping with your own. After he's gone, you'll eventually get over feeling like you have to take care of him. Gradually, you'll come to cherish being free of his bagage. It may feel lonely for awhile, but you are young and can meet other potential partners. If you get desperate for company, there is no shortage of loser-guys looking for women who'll adopt them. At least, next time, you could pick out a reasonably clean gigolo.

You gave this guy 5 of your best years. Time to cut your losses.

[~Christina]

Remove him from your life and don't look back.

Regardless of the financial issues his personal hygiene would be a deal breaker . Ack ack ack .

Do consider your housing situation typically there is a long long wait often years so if you go back to your parents and that doesn't work out where will you go then ?

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by thriftfabulous

I have few options. Stay, kick him out and pay my bills and literally have nothing left over or move back in with my parents.

Yes, you have only the two options. Is he helping to pay the rent? Is his name on the lease?

From what you post it appears it is time to end it with him. He is a jerk. You deserve better.

[Jeka85]

Originally Posted by thriftfabulous

So I am 28 and my partner(not married because of ssi) is 38 and we've been together 5 1/2 years. In 2015 I left because I found suboxone in my house twice coworkers of his told my father(my parents knew him before I did through drag racing) that he was gambling. He admitted to gambling once but first lied about it. We ended up getting back together and things were okay for a while but they've hit the fan. He's always coming home late saying he worked late but yet theirs no money. We don't have joint bank acts because of my check but I never know how much money he has until he has none and he has some excuse. I've had to borrow money for us to live and we live in subsidized housing. His hygiene is terrible too. To the point where he disgusts me. I've asked him about stuff but he denies it all. He randomly falls asleep. Almost narcoleptic like. He's supposed to work 3am to 11am but he's been coming home later and later. I don't drive so I'm stuck here all day and a lot of times without money so if me and my mom do want to go somewhere we can't and I have mental disabilities as it. He had bad hygiene. Wears stained clothes. I.e. Wears good clothes and ruins them, doesn't shower every day, doesn't get his hair cut when he needs to, dirty nails, teeth rotting and he won't go to the dentist. I have few options. Stay, kick him out and pay my bills and literally have nothing left over or move back in with my parents. Help!! He constantly leaves his debit card here, wallet there, something happend yada yada. But yet come th weekend he races. He's terribly irresponsible and doesn't help around the house. We don't have a washer and dryer and have to go to the laundry Matt. The damn **** needed done a month ago but he can't not race and help do laundry?

Help him! Pathological gambling is disorder. It is an addiction that has greater suicidal rate than drug or alcohol addiction. He really needs some help!
I can give you contact of one center for education and weaning of pathological gambling. They also provide skype sessions so that might be an option. Here you can find some info in english about the center and skype number herctimecenter. blogspot. rs
You can also find a movie on the blog about gabling which is based on a trues story, It might be useful for him to watch it, too. It can trigger motivation for dealing with problem.
Good luck! Text me if you need some extra info!