[black-roses]

How can I not feel deeply hurt and offended that my mother thinks I am taking financial advantage of her? :'(

[LucyG]

I just responded to your other thread.

As I mentioned in my other reply, I'm on the other end of a similar situation where we had to cut off financial help from family members as the young adult we helped get through college wasn't doing anything--or at least that's what we believe given we're over a thousand miles away.

What you're facing is becoming one of the major issues facing families with young adults still living at home. The problem in general is that it's not normal for young adults in their 20s, 30s and even 40s to still be living at home and not working. They need to be building their life and establishing a home, family and career, not living with their parents.

When a child still lives with their parents when they're old enough to be out on their own, the parent still sees them as a child so the parent/child dynamic continues on no matter how old the child gets. The tension comes in as the parent knows the child needs to be out on his/her own making a life for themselves but you can't very well throw them out so issues like you're facing surface. The only thing you can do to solve the problem is work towards getting out on your own. Until then, work with your mother to set rules you'll live by so she doesn't feel like you're taking advantage of her.

[black-roses]

I talked to her today and we finally came to an agreement if I pay her the rent every week on time. She will stop telling me to pay her all the time.

[Deejay14]

Excellent solution ....less stress for both of you!