My girlfriend has BP

Hey everyone

So I am in a long distance relationship with the most amazing girl in the world. Unfortunately, she is on the other side of the world. About 7,000 miles to be exact. Luckily, we do see each other about every four months for about two weeks at a time which is nice. The main problem is that she has B.P., or borderline personality. It doesn't help that the community she's grown up in is also terrible and her parents aren't the greatest, even going so far as to say that she, "Was a mistake." Because of this, she absolutely hates her guts and finds it difficult to understand why in the world I would love someone like her. She regularly deflects my compliments, which I'm fine with, but more than anything it hurts me to see her loath herself so much. She's tried committing suicide in the past as things became too much for her but managed to pull through (thank god). She has been screwed over by many guys in the past, and as a result, has some serious trust issues, so for pretty much her entire life she has felt as if she was nothing more than a backup plan for someone. My goal at the end of this is to try and get her to see herself in a better light. As far as I'm aware, having B.P. doesn't necessarily mean that you have to hate yourself. I think her problem is more that, because she has B.P., she's been so stigmatized by her teachers, parents, and peers that she truly believes that she is lazy, worthless, ugly, selfish, and weak. She is also very empathetic, and that's something I regularly say I love about her, but again, because of where she's grown up, she thinks it's nothing more than a setback and a sign of weakness. Her lack of confidence also translates to our relationship. If someone is going to kiss someone, 99% of the time it's me who initiates it. Or holding hands, or cuddling, or anything else that could be considered intimate. I would have to say that the saddest thing in all this is that she truly believes these things to be true about herself, and because of that, doesn't see them as something that can be changed. I would love to see her overcome these beliefs she has at some point, and have just a little bit more faith in herself. The biggest challenge for me is being so far away, and trying to help her through this stuff. I'm just wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how to help her attempt to change some of these beliefs, or at the very least, get her to see that they are beliefs in the first place and not facts?

Thank you (:

~Will

I happen to be BP and borderline (yayyy!) so I can relate to your gfs train of thought in a situation such as this where she's being put down and abused. I think you need to tell her how you feel and that you're concerned. It takes a lot to get over abuse like this and I still work on it. She needs therapy and to treat her MI.

Thank you for commenting (:

So I'll take your advice, though I think her distrust makes this a more difficult thing to do, but we shall see.

Again, thank you. It means a lot ^^

I see I'm the only one that helped you out. You may want to post this in the bipolar section and you'll probably get better results. Good luck!