[black-roses]

I have been noticing quite a lot that whenever I seem to reply slowly to a male friend yes I have male friends even though I criticized the whole gender. I mean I should have just been angry at those that have hurt me but I took it out on the entire one which was quite callous of me. Anyway I seem to notice when I reply slowly they ask me if I am angry I mean no male has ever seen me lose my temper except for Teeg who took a verbal bashing from me and is now to afraid and just can't be screwed with having another confrontation with me. So he's gone and most likely has no interest in appearing in my life so soon. I think my reaction to what he said he did was a bit of an exaggerated emotional reaction but anger for me when it comes to guys goes to rage pretty fast so I had thrown out a bunch of words I didn't really mean in my life. I didn't think he was evil I thought he was sly and backstabbing to my knowledge and I really don't like being played around like a joke, especially when it comes to guys. You could say I had a fair share of psychotic dudes rip my head off over standing my ground. So you could see I why I would get pissed at another Teeg pushing my boundaries and why I reached the way I did. it is unfortunate how I see men as the enemy waiting for the kill but I have no other way of thinking of them how my father treated my mother and every other guy treating me like some bag of sexual garbage. You could see the reaction however unjustified over my emotional reaction to men. You could almost say it like a ptsd reaction to men and how my fragile trust with them can so easily crumble in my hand. it's already a bad idea to be friends with men when you have such a strong ptsd reaction to them but I can't just avoid them entirely. So I will have to get over some of the abuse that I have been through by males some of the emotional, some of the blackmailing some of the physical abuse some of the etc. Anyway I am just wondering how I am meant to change decades of hardwiring and negative feelings towards men? Do I go to cognitive therapy, dbt?