[apj868]

Hi all,

Not sure if this is best here or in the depression section. I am after a bit of advice.

An old friend has just come back into my life. Until about 1 month ago, I hadn't seen her in about 7 years. Our relationship basically came straight back as if we hadn't been apart and everything was great. She has told me how seeing me makes her happy and how much she enjoys our interactions.

A couple of days ago she told me that she was abused by a (now) ex partner, about 6-12 months ago. I don't know any details, but she described it as 2 weeks of hell and has told me that the court process is still ongoing and being dragged out by the perpetrator. On the outside she seems fine, but looking back at conversations that we've had and putting some pieces of the puzzle together, I'm sure that she's putting on a brave face but hurting really badly inside.

I obviously want to help her as best I can. I'm just not sure how best to go about it.

I am worried that if I push her too much regarding being there to help her that our interactions will no longer continue to be fun for her. That is something that I definitely do not want to take away. I think that part of the reason why our interactions are fun for her is that I remind her of times when she was happy before her abuse.

On the other hand, I don't want to think that I am ignoring what went on and to think that I am not there for her if she needs anything. I know from our discussions that she values my opinion. I know that she has at least some support form her parents and a (new) partner, none of whom I have met, but I am not sure how much other support she has outside of this. She has told me that she is more of a home body.

I am really after any advice that anyone can give me with regards to how best to help her.

[Skeezyks]

Hello apj868: Welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find whatever time you spend here to be of benefit.

With regard to your concern for your friend, my personal opinion is that what happened to her is her issue to resolve in whatever way she chooses. You mentioned she does have the support of her parents & a new partner. So my suggestion is to simply let her know you're available to talk should she wish to do so. Then leave it at that. Anything more risks intruding into areas of her life where you really don't belong.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[apj868]

Thank you for the reply and welcome. Pretty much confirms what I was thinking.