[Brasucasulu]

Sorry, but I have to vent.
I'm fed up of some people I have out in my life lately. I live in a small community where everybody knows each other. Many of friends I've made here are expats like me, who came to work and open businesses.
Although I alway try to be a good friend and help others, I don't have the same back from them. People only ask and ask, but when I need something they disappear or don't care.
It happened many times since I don't have as much money as I used to. Business hasn't been too good this last year.
The last one was so,wine I thought was a good friend, we used to hang out. She told me last month that she was moving somewhere else, that her husband lost his job. I supported her as much as I could. Two days ago I asked when she's leaving, she told me that it will be in a few days, but that she'd arrange something for us to get together and say goodbye. She never said anything anymore, and yesterday she posted a picture on FB with two other friends saying: "Such a nice evening last night with my favorite island girls. I miss them already!" She didn't even had the decency to invite me. I got really hurt.
Two months ago my car broke down on a remote area like 20 min from town. It was a Sunday, and I called 5 people and they refused to help me. Luckily I knew a guy who painted my car some time in the past, a stranger and he came to help me immediately.
I start thinking that maybe I'm hunting up with the wrong people. Has the world become this horrible place?

Ouch.

How assertive do you feel? Is it possible for you to air your grievance(s) to these people? Also, what if you were to evaluate the nature of these relationships? Could some of them in fact be acquaintanceships in their eyes? Are you prepared to accept such a relationship? I think then it would be time to do a cull; let go those who don't return the energy you have put into the friendship.

[TishaBuv]

It's hit and miss depending on the people. I've met a few true, reliable friends and others who are just self serving.

It would have been so tempting for me to not post something on her fb about being left out. Kudos for your self control.

[Brasucasulu]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Ouch.

How assertive do you feel? Is it possible for you to air your grievance(s) to these people? Also, what if you were to evaluate the nature of these relationships? Could some of them in fact be acquaintanceships in their eyes? Are you prepared to accept such a relationship? I think then it would be time to do a cull; let go those who don't return the energy you have put into the friendship.

You're right. I need to evaluate some relationships and stop giving more than what they deserve.

[Brasucasulu]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

It's hit and miss depending on the people. I've met a few true, reliable friends and others who are just self serving.

It would have been so tempting for me to not post something on her fb about being left out. Kudos for your self control.

It was tough not to write a comment on her post. However, I think she isn't worth it. But I learned new important lessons everyday.
I just have to stop being so naive.

Kudos to u too.

[MickeyCheeky]

((brasu))

Some people are just mean.. if you realize this, interrupt any relationship you already have with them It's for the best You deserve some TRUE friends.

[Brasucasulu]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

((brasu))

Some people are just mean.. if you realize this, interrupt any relationship you already have with them It's for the best You deserve some TRUE friends.

Thank you again Mickey!
I'm not sure if she's mean. I think that she's just doesn't care.
If she ever says anything I'd just ignore it. Although I doubt she will say anything unless I have won the lotto.

xx

[vintagexsoul]

I have this problem too, except its with online friends. Talking and listening then when I have a problem or am struggling they all vanish or ignore me. We control who we let into our lives, and choose who we invest in. I'm doing a culling myself because you just feel bad about yourself when you try with these people and they don't put in any effort.

But the fact they wouldn't help you when your car broke down? That is beyond low on their part....I'm so sorry. There's people who there who would love to be your friend.

[Brasucasulu]

Originally Posted by vintagexsoul

I have this problem too, except its with online friends. Talking and listening then when I have a problem or am struggling they all vanish or ignore me. We control who we let into our lives, and choose who we invest in. I'm doing a culling myself because you just feel bad about yourself when you try with these people and they don't put in any effort.

But the fact they wouldn't help you when your car broke down? That is beyond low on their part....I'm so sorry. There's people who there who would love to be your friend.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this too. It feels really horrible.
They didn't come to help because it was a bad road. Which it shows what type of people.
I blame myself for it, because I'm not tough enough, and I just forgive. Luckily I have a few true friends, but most of them moved elsewhere. I'm also looking to move to anoth r location if I find a good job opportunity.

Thanks again for your support.