[RKORyder]

Hello everyone.
Recently I've been wrestling with a recent issue regarding my friend.
After not speaking for a couple years (I moved to a different state and we lost contact) we finally reconnected and we decided that he would come visit me for a couple days so we can hang out.
I was very excited about his upcoming visit until recently.
Every so often he would get kind of rude or would just blow me off. I didn't mind the blowing off as much since I have a habit of distancing myself from people as well.
However his behavior has been a bit off recently and the rudeness and distancing himself has become more frequent. Then I found out that last week, he got into a car accident. He wrecked his car but luckily got away unharmed minus some broken bones in his wrist and a concussion. His behavior got slightly worse and but then he was drinking a lot and just acting a fool. Then about 2 days ago he was arrested for driving without a license and having no insurance. This is very unlike him.
My dilemma currently is that I'm thinking about calling off his visit when he gets out of jail.
I feel like he's been very reckless recently and, since I don't drive personally, I would be riding with him during his visit. Given his recent actions, I'm not okay with getting in a car with him.

Am I being too harsh about this?

[Artchic528]

No. You're not being too harsh or too much of a jerk. First and foremost you have to take care of yourself, and that means being responsible about who you allow to drive you to places. You're also allowing him more or less some time to get his act together and focus on himself, as he should be doing (though he might just use the time to continue to behave erratically again). So, while it may feel like you're being cold and uncaring, you're doing the right thing. Take care!

[MickeyCheeky]

Yeah, I agree, it's important you think of yourself, too..

You absolutely are not being a jerk. I fact, koodos to you for being assertive.

[Bill3]

This is not a good time for a visit or to get in a car with him driving.

You're being forced by dangerous circumstances to make decisions to protect yourself that you fear may hurt your friend's feelings. Your fear of being harsh to him proves that you're not a jerk.

[TishaBuv]

No you're not being a jerk. Trust your instincts. There are lots of red flags with this friend.

[Unrigged64072835]

You're not being a jerk. He needs to get his act together before he harms himself or somebody else.

[hvert]

I agree with everyone, you aren't a jerk. He may not be allowed to leave his state anyway as part of his bail condition, too.

[j1llyb3an]

You are setting boundaries for yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. He should understand this, as your friend.

Originally Posted by j1llyb3an

You are setting boundaries for yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. He should understand this, as your friend.

Bravo, j1llyb3an....
good job

[Summerhex]

You're making the right decision. You need to look out for your own safety.