Are these his true colors or a defense mechanism?

Sorry for the length of this post. I have a lot on my mind. I'd appreciate it so much if you read through and helped me though. I need all the support I can get.
Things with my boyfriend have escalated as of recently, and to be honest, fights had slowly been getting more aggressive each time because he didn't listen to me. This time, I packed my bags. This time, he told me I was making the best decision by leaving him because he "makes me miserable and drives me crazy." He didn't fight for me, he was just letting me go. He posted selfies on Facebook as I was texting him goodbyes. He killed me. My manager had to send me home that day. When I got home and continued to pack my stuff, still bawling- he stepped over me to get to where he needed to be. He ignored my cries for 40 minutes before crying himself and talking to me, apologizing for being selfish.
Main fight was: he'd changed once I moved in.
He stopped trying and I became a housewife, basically. I cooked, cleaned.. made sure the house was taken care of. He'd come home after work (around 4 am, he's a bartender) and go to sleep. Understandable.
But days off should be for us, right?
Dates? Doing things together? Sex?
Which we never have anymore (unless I start it, which doesn't always work.)
I've never felt so unattractive and neglected in my life.
And I get it. You're drained from your job. You're drained from stress.
But we're all drained.
It's about learning to pull yourself out of that. Am I right? Or am I missing something here?

Anyway, if you remember my last post about Steve, we had the talk after this major fight. And initially, after we said our apologies 2 days ago, I thought things would be ok, but now, I don't know.
It's very hard for him to talk. Very very hard. And I don't know why.
I asked him, "did your parents shut you down whenever you tried to express yourself?" All I got were "I don't knows," he didn't try. His parents wouldn't do that, though.
Even though it was hard for him, he did talk. It took 5 hours, but he talked.
He told me what bothered him about me and I told him what bothered me about him.
We talked about his drinking, the bad influences he's around; we talked about kids, the future and marriage.
He told me he had doubts about me.
"You're only 22, what if your feelings change?" But he was projecting.
So I asked him if he thought his feelings for me might change... he couldn't answer me.
"Steve, I'm not here to waste my time and I need to know if you're as committed to this as I am,"
Silence.
"Steve?"
"You're putting so much pressure on me. I don't know if I want kids one day. I don't know if I can give you that,"
"Then why are you here right now?"
"What?"
"Why are you with me if you know I want a child?"
"I think about the now."
And I was floored. I've never dealt with this before.
I've only been in 1 other serious relationship and he wanted to do it all with me.
The now?
I don't want to be your "right now." I want to be your always.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I have so much invested here- my entire heart. I live with him. I work in Orlando. I'm not in a position where I can just get up and move into my own apartment.. I could move back home but it's not ideal.
I don't want this to end.
I want to fix our problems but when I ask him, "how can we fix this? How can we make this better? What do you think we should do? Do you think it will get better?" He can't answer me. He shuts down.
I feel like I'm the only one that actually cares at this point.
He used to work with me before and now...
This really kills me.

He says he's been feeling crappy the last few months because he always fails at everything: he breaks promises, diets, he started drinking again and now he doubts himself. I feel like that has taken him away from me and this relationship.
How do I bring him back?