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#1
Nov 11, 2016, 11:05 PM
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I guess this'll sound repetitive to some, but I've been talking to a guy on Match.com. We just gave each other our names tonight and I just now gave him my number and said he could call or text me at any time.
His profile pic sort of reminds me of my first ex. We met on Match and he was my first sexual partner. I guess you never really get over your first, or forget them in any case. Anyways, I am apprehensive about pursuing him because he describes himself as a country boy. I automatically think guns and steak when I think of the term "country boy". Perhaps this is a bit of a harsh judgement, I'll admit, but its what my mind automatically associates with. Don't get me wrong, I like a good steak, but I am not so much a guns person. I am perfectly fine with them, as long as they stay out of my home. I understand their practicality, but I just don't feel safe with them in my living space (mental health reasons withstanding). I guess I shouldn't be so apprehensive, but my mother is a die hard liberal and I am as well, but I tend to lean a touch less left than she. I just fear that if I bring home a country boy who is all conservative, they would clash. That is, if he and I don't clash first. Maybe I am just being too presumptuous and everything won't go to hell in a hand basket. Anyways, we'll see.
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 MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!! [UPDATED: 4/30/2017] LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!! |
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#2
Nov 11, 2016, 11:30 PM
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I had to chuckle reading it. I am very liberal and my husband is a bit of a conservative leaning country boy lol We get along in every aspect and have ton in common. With the above exception. I make no secret of finding some of his views backwards haha but he is awesome otherwise. Give him a chance. He might be a great guy.
Oh i don't know about not forgetting your first. I have no particular attachment to memory of my first. We dragged for 4 years but nothing to write home about. Maybe yours was better romantic experience. My first bf was kind of a loser haha |
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#3
Nov 11, 2016, 11:52 PM
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My aunt was a staunch conservative stay at home housewife who never worked a day in her life and felt a women's job was in the home. My uncle was very liberal union man. They were married for over 60 years and loved each other fiercely until their recent deaths. They had a strange relationship with lots of banter (seriously should have been a sit-com) but they were happy and lived a good life with each other by their side. My uncle worshipped the ground my aunt walked on and treated her like a queen even though he found her religious and political views silly. My aunt thought my uncle a moron for his views and yet still they never went to bed angry. They had so many other things in common.
My first marriage was to a conservative super Christian. I'm liberal and secular. My ex told me that God gave me to him and he prayed to have me. I found it charming and it's one of the many things I found so appealing. I respected his devotion and his belief in family values and would often mention it to friends as something very endearing. We dated for 2 years and it was wonderful. He was a country farm boy, simple minded but charismatic. We got married and had a beautiful baby boy. I was very happy....until he started abusing me in every fashion, selling off my family heirlooms for drug money. He didn't respect me or my opinions once the baby was born. Our intellectual differences made him resentful and when I scored much higher than him on college entry exams he was furious. He considers secular people and liberals to be scum. He doesn't respect women and used to constantly point out women at crosswalks and say "all these women look like *****s". But it was really good and I was treated very well for 2 years. I guess what I'm saying is....there are no promises or guarantees either way. Give it a shot....look out for bad vibes. But even then you could be blindsided. My aunt and uncles story is just as likely and I happen to prefer that. Good luck either way. Luck has a lot to do with it. |
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#4
Nov 11, 2016, 11:55 PM
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My current husband and I have very similar if not exactly the same value systems....I'm not going to lie, I find things run much smoother and I prefer smooth to discourse.
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#5
Nov 11, 2016, 11:59 PM
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Not everyone does prefer smooth, some prefer the banter. They find it stimulating.
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#6
Nov 12, 2016, 12:53 AM
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Are you and mom a package deal? I always felt like, especially as i got older, that my mom was coming along if i got married whether i liked it or not, that it was up to me to care for her in my old age. But the problem was we never separated psychologically. Just stg to think about? We werent particularly close or loving, it was more her opinion of what i should do.
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 Anonymous59125
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#7
Nov 12, 2016, 06:05 AM
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You know Unaluna, you bring up a good point. I find that my mom is very opinionated and though she says she wants me to be my own person, she does put forth a lot of ground rules, mostly because it's her home, her rules I guess. I am somewhat dependant on her for the room and board and meals, though I do have a small part time job. Guess that comes with my struggling with MI.
I sort of want to respect her wishes, as that is the mature thing to do, so she pretty much calls the shots. I'm just going to see where this thing with this guy goes.
__________________
MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!! [UPDATED: 4/30/2017] LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!! |
 unaluna
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#8
Nov 12, 2016, 07:20 AM
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Well i think you should speak with your boyfriend to stay away from guns and i think they will be no problems
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#9
Nov 12, 2016, 07:39 AM
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I think your questions here are totally appropriate.
Country boy is how he is describing himself. You could always ask him what kind of country boy he is! Like if he grew up in a farm, does he ride horses, wear cowboy boots, like the music, go fishing, etc. Not all country boys go hunting and they aren't all conservative 😀 It'd be a fun conversation actually, finding out what type of a country boy he is. One of my exes used to call himself a country boy. He had never lived in the country. He did a lot of outdoor work but never in a farm, and never lived with any of the same sorts of stuff I had (I grew up in the country but not in a farm. Just surrounded by them). He basically viewed himself as country because he likes country music, cowboy boots, bonfires and working outside. I found it a bit ridiculous but he was happy with himself. So this guy could really be anywhere. Guns and politics are both very important topics to work out in a relationship. You can work out his views on those through having a fairly lighthearted conversation.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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#10
Nov 12, 2016, 07:39 AM
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Handheart, he's not technically my boyfriend (yet). Hopefully someday he might be.
Panda, I will try. I have a new concern that is taking precidence right now with what could possibly be a gallbladder infection. I am hoping to get it all fixed by seeing a doctor this morning.
__________________
MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!! [UPDATED: 4/30/2017] LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!! |
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#11
Nov 12, 2016, 07:50 AM
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Give him a chance.
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#12
Nov 12, 2016, 08:02 AM
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Well life on the farm is kinda laid back
Ain't much an old country boy like me can't hack It's early to rise, early in the sack I thank God I'm a country boy Well a simple kinda life never did me no harm A raisin' me a family and workin' on a farm My days are all filled with an easy country charm Thank God I'm a country boy Well I got me a fine wife I got me an ole fiddle When the sun's comin' up I got cakes on the griddle Life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle Thank God I'm a country boy When the work's all done and the sun's settlin' low I pull out my fiddle and I rosin up the bow The kids are asleep so I keep it kinda low I thank God I'm a country boy I'd play Sally Goodin all day if I could But the Lord and my wife wouldn't take it very good So I fiddle when I can, work when I should Thank God I'm a country boy Well I got me a fine wife I got me an ole fiddle When the sun's comin' up I got cakes on the griddle Life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle Thank God I'm a country boy Well I wouldn't trade my life for diamonds and jewels I never was one of them money hungry fools I'd rather have my fiddle and my farmin' tools Thank God I'm a country boy Yeah, city folk drivin' in a black limousine A lotta sad people thinkin' that's mighty keen Son, let me tell ya now exactly what I mean I thank God I'm a country boy Well I got me a fine wife I got me an ole fiddle When the sun's comin' up I got cakes on the griddle Life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle I thank God I'm a country boy, yes Sr. Well, my fiddle was my daddy's till the day he died And he took me by the hand and held me close to his side Said, "live a good life and play the fiddle with pride And thank God you're a country boy" Well, my daddy taught me young how to hunt and how to whittle Taught me how to work and play a tune on the fiddle Taught me how to love and how to give just a little And thank God I'm a country boy Well I got me a fine wife I got me an ole fiddle When the sun's comin' up I got cakes on the griddle Life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle Thank God I'm a country boy ------------------------------------------------- You might not click, but it's worth a date at Longhorn Steakhouse to find out. My step-dad is as country as it gets, and my mom's the ultimate yankee. The biggest problem is he can't speak fast enough to get a word in.
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"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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#13
Nov 12, 2016, 08:27 AM
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Quote:
It's impossible and probably unnecessary to find a person who are like us 100%. Now I believe major values do have to match. I wouldn't ever spend time let alone want to date a racist or homophob etc Everybody has thier deal breakers Last edited by divine1966; Nov 12, 2016 at 10:33 AM. Reason: Autocorrect typos |
| Anonymous59125
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#14
Nov 12, 2016, 08:37 AM
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We sometimes tease each other referring to my husband as "country boy" etc. He did grow up in the small town in a middle of nowhere. But he never worked or lived on a farm. He has 2 college degrees and is RN. He absolutely doesn't own a gun and wouldn't hurt a fly. He does like country music though. I agree with red panda. See what kind of country boy he is. It might not be a big deal and he might not be even serious about it
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#15
Nov 12, 2016, 08:42 AM
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My dad is not that steak and gun stereotype either. He's a southern gentleman, very sophisticated, traveled the country for his career. My parents have very different views on nearly everything, but it didn't cause a problem.
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| Anonymous59125
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#16
Nov 12, 2016, 04:42 PM
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Quote:
Lmao !! You crack me up so much ! Thank you. ....................... Hey Artchic , I say give him a chance, being a country boy doesn't always mean farming and shoveling shyyt . Lol I know a lot of people that consider themselves the way he does, many say that because they just aren't like all status driven ( not Facebook lol) kind of guy. I say give him a shot. I have been wanting to tell you this ...... You have grown so much with this whole online dating my stuff, you have learned to not attach so fast and you aren't letting people treat you lousy. GOOD for you ❤️❤️❤️
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Artchic528, TishaBuv, unaluna
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#17
Nov 12, 2016, 06:22 PM
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If everyone avoided relationships with those whom their parents might have an issue with, the human species would fade away.
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| John25
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#18
Nov 12, 2016, 07:39 PM
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If this guy works out, forewarn him that your mother is very liberal so he can avoid controversial issues. And ask your mother to do the same.
I find it difficult dealing with someone who holds the opposite opinions that I do as sooner or later the sexual attraction cools and you're stuck having to talk to each other about mundane day-to-day things. It's nice when you agree on most everything so you can support each other. I respect your stance on guns because of your mental health issues, but if he wants to take you to the shooting range, go for it. It's a lot of fun.
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No army can stop an idea whose time has come. |
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#19
Nov 12, 2016, 07:50 PM
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See if he's a good kisser, then decide.
Keep that courage! moogs
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Current Status: Stable/High Functioning/Clean and Sober Dx: Bipolar 2, GAD Current Meds: Prozac 30mg, Lamictal 150mg, Latuda 40mg, Wellbutrin 150 XL Previous meds I can share experiences from: AAPs - Risperdal, Abilify, Seroquel SSRIs - Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft Mood Stabilizers - Tegretol, Depakote, Neurontin Other - Buspar, Xanax Add me as a friend and we can chat 
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#20
Nov 12, 2016, 08:35 PM
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Quote:
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| Rose76
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#21
Nov 12, 2016, 09:22 PM
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Quote:
If I had cared about that, I would have had to eliminate dating my h. The last thing I want to argue about is politics!
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| Anonymous59125
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#22
Nov 13, 2016, 06:44 AM
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Quote:
 ...And, it's definitely worth a date at the Longhorn Steakhouse to find out!
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| Anonymous59125
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| TishaBuv
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#23
Nov 13, 2016, 06:49 AM
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Quote:
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| Anonymous59125
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| TishaBuv
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#24
Nov 15, 2016, 07:20 PM
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Okay, he never texted me. Ah well, his loss, really.
__________________
MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!! [UPDATED: 4/30/2017] LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!! |
| Anonymous59125, seesaw
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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