[Koolz09]

If you've read a few of my other posts, you'll know I'm homeschooled and that my parents don't allow me to have alot of friends. This was one of my only friends really. We usually hang out maybe twice every month at my house. My dad ordered us a pizza, after my friend left he went through the garage. I asked my parents if they would mind closing the garage because I was going to bring the trash upstairs and I didn't want to forget as the last time I forgot to close the garage someone came into during the night and stole some of our things. So, when I went upstairs to tell them, my mom walked down(this was before I threw the trash out). She started yelling and calling my friend lazy for not helping with the trash(even though she knew I was the one going to throw it out). I picked it up, and out of anger she grabbed it out of my hand when I was walking up the stairs. I asked "Why are you so ticked off?" She just said "Because your lazy friend never helps." Yesterday morning she told me she texted my friend "Thanks for helping pick the trash up." She said my friend replied back to her, "I'm sick of your attitude. I did help clean up." Then I texted my friend later that day(in the afternoon) and appologized for what she said to him and that I don't know why she acted like that for. He told me "It is alright. But I don't think I want to come over anymore with the way your parents are acting. But you are welcome to come to my house to hang." Which I probably won't be able to do anytime soon no one has taught me how to drive. So I'm stuck. I'm just looking for advice. What would you do?

[Bill3]

Before this latest incident, how well did your friend get along with your parents?

[Koolz09]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Before this latest incident, how well did your friend get along with your parents?

He got along pretty good with them before this.

[Bill3]

How does your mom feel about him and the incident now?

[Koolz09]

Originally Posted by Bill3

How does your mom feel about him and the incident now?

Right now, she is still mad at him. Like, when I bring him up and beg her not to text him anymore, all she says to me is "Well he is lazy." I don't know why she just keeps saying that.

[Bill3]

When did the incident happen?

[Koolz09]

Originally Posted by Bill3

When did the incident happen?

2 days ago.

If you have access to public transportation, perhaps you could take a bus to visit your friend sometimes, or maybe you could meet somewhere like at a local park and hang out there?

It stinks but I can understand why your friend would not want to go back to your house.

[Bill3]

It is distressing that your mom is holding on to this incident from two days ago. Is that her typical behavior in response to conflict? How long does it take her usually to return to baseline?

So long as she takes such a negative attitude to your friend, options other than hanging out at your house seem more appropriate. Perhaps your mother will become less judgmental of your friend over time. In the mean time, I wonder if your friend would be willing to drive both ways from time to time? And what are the chances of getting support in learning how to drive?

Based on what I've read I think you need to focus on your studies...do anything you can to learn and get your license and work hard to get out of that house and on your own. I never expected my sons friends to do any cleaning when they were here. They were guests! Taking everything you've said and this current incident, I think gaining independence should be your primary goal right now. Easier said and done but keep your nose in a book and make it happen. I wish you had a therapist or someone to help. When I was young I used to go to therapy from my doctor/insurance but I also found a local free clinic and that place was more helpful than the paid place. The lady gave me her home phone number and told me that if I'm being abused to call and she would put a stop to it. I believed her and she gave me more hope than the paid professionals with advanced degrees. Perhaps there is a local place with free help for you? I was 16 when I found that help. (((Hugs)))

[Crazy Hitch]

How many true friends does your mother have?

Sorry, no offence, but I fail to see with her attitude that she knows anything about friendship.