[sunshineanddaisies]

About 3 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me. 10 months may not seem like that long, but we are both seniors in college and were very much in love. We constantly talked about the future. I have been dealing with generalized anxiety disorder for a few years as well as panic attacks. I was very up front with him about this. Through hearing me share my issues, he opened up and shared with me that he used to have major depression. A few months ago he really opened up and told me that the depression was coming back worse than before. He had kept this depression secret from everyone including his parents and best friend, but he chose to open up to me. As he opened up things kept seeming to get worse, but he still told me he loved me for the first time, even though he said he couldn't feel many emotions, he knew he loved me. He was still the sweet guy I loved He eventually started taking prozac for his depression. After that the depression kept getting worse. He started cutting himself, every few days at first then every single day. He would even cut himself when I was asleep in the room. He would tell me about his thoughts about killing himself, but that he would never actually do it. He also started drinking every day. At first it was just a few beers with his school work sometimes but then it was every day. He'd even go to class drunk. He started failing all his classes and ended up dropping 12/15 credits. All through this though he told me he loves me and that we will be so much stronger together once we get through this. 3 weeks ago I was staying at his house when out of the blue he broke up with me. Told me he doesn't love me anymore and isn't happy. That I'm trying to make him fake things and change. 3 days before this he had told me he still loves me and we had talked about plans for a month later. I am so confused and feel betrayed, I talked to him on the phone a few days later to say my piece and how I think he will regret this decision. He told me he had tried to kill himself a few days before. He then told me that there were things that bothered him but he didn't want to hurt my feelings. I find myself to be a pretty good judge of character and I know he loved me. I'm just so confused how someone can flip a switch like that. Has anyone experienced anything similar? And if so any advice on how to get through something like this?

[gayleggg]

Depression can be quite debilitating and cause all sorts of relationship problems. That he is self medicating is bad and can lead to further depression. I don't really have any wise words other that to take care of yourself.

[Artchic528]

Yeah, I experienced a similar incident. It sounds to me like something had happened to him while you two were dating that was very triggering to him, and started the downward spiral. At least that's what I got from what you said.

He probably feels like he's damaged beyond repair and that you deserve someone who isn't "damaged". That you deserve better. Also, remember that you can offer all the support to him in the world, but only he can decide to get help and try to get better.

Take care remember to not be so hard on him or yourself. Depression is a nasty thing to deal with.

[Bill3]

Possible trigger:

Suicidal people often try to put things in order in preparation for a suicide attempt. He may broken up with you with that idea in mind. To me the main thing right now is for him to be getting mental health support. Does he see a therapist or psychiatrist? Do they know about his attempt?

Please call 911 if he tells you that he will imminently make another attempt.