[tired_soul]

My new BF is leaving me with mixed emotions after every time we meet and is triggering my anxiety...
He's never been in a relationship (we are both mid 30is) and said to me that he needs some down time after meeting with me, which makes me worried and frustrated with him. The thing is that we're good when we are together, but I am always pissed off about something when we are not together. We spent the weekend together and it wasn't bad but it wasn't great either - I felt something was off and then he went cold and this is getting me frustrated.
I like him and I am attracted to him - but I need more compassion from him and he doesn't seem to be able to grasp that.

[Open Eyes]

He is probably very insecure about what to do in a relationship. This is one of the busiest forums on this site, so don't feel alone with relationship challenges.

[Skeezyks]

Hello tired_soul: Well... at the risk of stating the obvious... I'll just observe that you can't change the way your bf is. You can only change yourself, to whatever extent that is needed, if any. So, from my perspective, I think what you can do here is to take a good look at your own situation (you mentioned you're always pissed off about something when the two of you are not together.) See if there is anything you can do to improve circumstances. And beyond that, I think you simply have to decide if, given the type of person your bf is, you can handle staying in the relationship.

I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[~Christina]

Have you and him had a discussion about the relationship? Who wants and needs xyz,

Sometimes miscommunication can cause all kinds of hurt feelings on both sides.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by tired_soul

My new BF is leaving me with mixed emotions after every time we meet and is triggering my anxiety...
He's never been in a relationship (we are both mid 30is) and said to me that he needs some down time after meeting with me, which makes me worried and frustrated with him. The thing is that we're good when we are together, but I am always pissed off about something when we are not together. We spent the weekend together and it wasn't bad but it wasn't great either - I felt something was off and then he went cold and this is getting me frustrated.
I like him and I am attracted to him - but I need more compassion from him and he doesn't seem to be able to grasp that.

It's so early in the relationship it sounds like that I dunno these signs seem to be red flags that you're not clicking like it should be in the first phase of a good relationship. I mean you should not be having anxiety about your bf already nor should you be considering changing him, which is what it implies when you say you need more compassion from him and he can't grasp it.

Perhaps that's just not the type of guy he is. please either accept that who you are with is enough and go with that or find someone that fits your needs better.