I have not had Christmas Dinner with my adult (24, 29) children since 2009.

Both my ex husbands (my children's father and step father) have been able to manipulate my children to spend the holidays with them. They place upon my kids demands my children have difficulty ignorring. Plans I've had with them in the past get sabotaged.

We have arranged to finally have Christmas together with me this year. Both my son and daughter however have indicated their father is really laying on the passive aggressive tactics including guilt to interfer with that. I greatly fear he will win out in the end. How dare he. I am fuming.

[gayleggg]

I don't blame you for fuming. What their fathers are doing is just wrong. I hope that your children stay strong this year and you get to have your Christmas with them like planned.

[divine1966]

Them being adults they should be able to tell their dad where they want to spend their holidays. I'd have a talk with them why can't they say no to him. It amazes me how some people can make adults kids do things.

Thanks Divine. You are right. My children are adults and should be capable of saying 'No'. Both of these men do this to everyone around them. They are extremely aggressive, charismatic, and always get what they want. Whether people around them are afraid or are simply taken in by them they have a knack for dictating and manipulating. Everyone seems to get run over.