I am unsure if social anxiety or I ruin a friendship.

Well I sent my friend a Merry Christmas message I didn't hear a reply well much to anything I know she seen it due to fb messager but heard a reply from non close friends. I am unsure if I am over analyzing but at work it has been rough she was over presuring me getting things done cause manager told her to push and starting pushing me over things out of my control (work been stressful) in the end she over pushed me some Co workers were like the hell? I got to a point I shoved into her by accident she was pushing about other worker were tired I just felt useless after that day she didn't mention much to me but lot things went wrong that day with this manager she was so egotistical thinking and saying things that she is good and better than that but anyway before than she mention a guy I knew and stood away from since I won't put huge story of him all I will say this guy dated her and now dating someone else he treated my friend bad and there was another friend I drifted from was treated bad by him as well I was gaming with her all the sudden she was like he has changed acting nice and sweet to everyone I think she believes it I knew him since high school he goes through these phases of being "nice" to "stealing getting every girlfriend pregnant con artist guy". If she was right no offence to her I didn't want anything to do with this guy I think she was pretending to be okay with even though she was like he doing well his changed, I believe in seconds chances but I given many chances to alot of people I just find the past history with him toxic no good for me to deal with.

Perhaps I am bad friend when it comes to depression I withdraw I don't want to frustrate anyone and especially in the past someone tried to cheer me up got frustrated when I didn't cheer up.

I am starting to get the hint from maybe I am there for other when needed as well but I get stop talking to when they have someone else. I just need a friend this year been so up and down I feel even less hopeful about the future. If I can find a good book on education of social skills maybe that might help.

Dear Mysterious_Lion--I hear a lot of sadness, low self-esteem feelings in your post. When we are depressed, (you sound a bit depressed), it can be harder to connect with others. Plus you're describing stress at work and having to deal with difficult people. Please go easy on yourself. Perhaps your friend didn't respond because she is also dealing with these things. At a better time, in a better situation you might connect with these friends or perhaps, someday, someone new will come along where you just connect naturally. I am sorry you feel anxious about it all...I say keep sending people nice messages -- it might make them feel good and maybe one of those "non close friends" may become a close friend someday or your friend will return your fb message soon.

Thanks I think you're right!