[bighit86]

I've consulted pretty much everything I can find to read on other websites, so I wanted to bounce this off of you guys

I've been seeing this girl for about six months. We spend a lot of time together, know each other very intimately, the whole nine yards. But she won't commit. She claims to "not be ready" for a relationship, but for all intents and purposes we are anyway. She talks about respecting boundaries all the time, but still sleeps at my place multiple nights a week. I'm also not respecting "boundaries" if I ask her where she is or what she is doing if she is out and about without me, but she sees fit to question me all the time when the shoe is on the other foot. She also exhibits extreme jealousy and possessiveness whenever I interact with other women, whether in person or online. I care about her a lot, but I'm getting tired of the double standard. What do I do?

[xRavenx]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I see a lot of clear examples in your post where this seems to be a very one-way relationship where you are getting the short end of the stick. I would recommend having a serious talk with her and bringing up these examples to her so that she can see that she is being hypocritical. I definitely think her own insecurities, past history, and possible mental health issues all have a lot to do with why she won't commit.

These issues would absolutely interfere with your relationship if you were to be committed to each other. Ask yourself, "Although I care about her deeply, am I willing to wait around for her?" She may never want a commitment. More importantly, ask yourself, "Do I really want to be with someone who is so possessive and wants a one-way relationship?" Treat yourself as worthy of more. It would be a very unhealthy relationship, and it sounds like this is already taking a toll on you.

There many people seeking a relationship where you can have a healthy one that goes both ways. You two are not on the same page here. After a talk, if she is willing to make changes, then it's your decision whether you want to stick around, but there's some red flags here. It sounds like she needs to get some help before she can be in an healthy relationship, and that's for her to work on and not your responsibility.

I wish you luck with this.

[Shazerac]

Hmmm. double standard here. sounds like you need some boundaries of your own. If she's telling you she's not ready for a commitment take here at her word, believe her. Trying to force a jealous possesive person into a commitment is going to send you straight to the hurt locker.

[MickeyCheeky]

The fact that she's so jealous and possesive of you without even dating you doesn't sound right.. I'd be careful.

[Fuzzybear]

double standards here, she definitely sounds like she has issues with boundaries and insecurity - all those red flags would send me running