Lately, I've been visiting a lot of forums where people talk about whatever - just normal, everyday stuff mostly, and I've become really disheartened and have been feeling really down after seeing how mean people are to each other Like, they constantly shame one another for thinking or feeling a certain way or for making mistakes in, for instance, parenting or any area of life, really.. Every message is a dig at someone else, they call people they've never met names, laugh at people.. This just makes me insanely anxious!

I myself have spent the last few years at home due to physical illness and social phobia, and now am thinking, GOD, I hope this isn't what it'll be like out there in the 'real' world..

Today, I thought I ought to do something about the anxiety I'm feeling, so I wondered, who's been mean to me? Why are these people getting to me so much?

I realised I feel my parents were 'mean' to me when I was growing up (later on as well) - that they 'didn't understand me'.. And it's true. They lack empathy and are indifferent. Somehow, I feel good about realising this.. This is why people being inconsiderate and downright awful to others gets to me. I feel now that I understand this, I can maybe just let people's mean comments go without feeling like I have to change that person.. I can't, only they can change themselves.. I guess the best tactic is to just remove myself from their company as much as I can.

[leejosepho]

Same for me. Conversations where people are poking, jabbing, flaming, condemning and whatever can quickly make me feel physically ill, and I also shy away from rants filled with the same kinds of things when they are driven by unabashed, tight-fisted bitterness and hatred. I can easily understand why people do those kinds of things, but none of that has ever proved helpful for anyone or useful to me.

[JoeS21]

It must have felt good to come to that realization after experiencing some of the awful things and behavior that mean people have toward one another. Removing yourself from threads you don't like and letting people change themselves may be the best you can do. Good job recognizing that! On other threads, it's been said many times that the worst insult to an Internet troll is no responses.. ignoring them. Lots of people say things on the internet that they would never say to someone in real life. Sometimes they are having fun at other people's expense, sometimes they are hired corporations or governments to intimidate people with certain opinions, sometimes they are in a bad mood (due to any number of things, mental health, a bad day, etc.) and taking it out on others, etc. etc. You are wise not to waste your time and energy on negative mean threads. It's not worth it. Surround yourself with supportive pleasant people online as you would in real life! Empathy and considerate behavior are wonderful traits! It's people with those that you deserve to spend time with.

Originally Posted by not.dead.yet

Lately, I've been visiting a lot of forums where people talk about whatever - just normal, everyday stuff mostly, and I've become really disheartened and have been feeling really down after seeing how mean people are to each other Like, they constantly shame one another for thinking or feeling a certain way or for making mistakes in, for instance, parenting or any area of life, really.. Every message is a dig at someone else, they call people they've never met names, laugh at people.. This just makes me insanely anxious!

I find it the same. I find that message boards have devolved a bit lately. Often people who post on them are very messed up and have very little to do. The message board is their lifeline and they are threatened by new people posting because they don't want anyone expressing different views. I find most people who post on message boards on a regular basis to have issues dealing with real life... which may explain the vitriol.

For me, I like message boards because I work and I simply don't have time to make friendships in real life like I can with message boards. The real trick is finding the right people on those message boards. That is increasingly hard.

Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts and wisdom! It's a relief to hear I'm not the only one who has noticed people being so mean to each other and is bothered about it.. My whole life, I've heard I'm too sensitive, so I always wonder whether I should just 'toughen up'.. But I can't help it, I feel really bad about people being horrible to each other