I was out walking tonight when I heard wailing from a nearby school yard. I saw a kid walking towards me on his own crying his heart out. I hesitated, wondering whether I should ask what's wrong and offer my help, or if it would just scare him to have a stranger (dressed in black from head to toe) approach him. In the end, I called out 'What's the matter?' in what I hoped was a friendly voice. He didn't reply, just continued crying. I hesitantly started walking towards him, and when I got nearer asked 'Have you hurt yourself? Can I help you in any way?'

He stopped crying instantly, his eyes widened and his body stiffened as though in horror, and holding his breath he hurried past me.. Then started wailing again. I felt awful just letting him walk off alone into the night, but I reckoned it would totally freak him out if I stayed there watching he got to the nearest houses safely, let alone if I started following him to make sure he got home alright.

I've been feeling pretty rotten about this since I got back home, wondering how badly I scared him and whether I shouldn't have said anything at all to him.. What do you think? What would you have done? I'd estimate the kid was maybe 7-9 years old..

[~Christina]

Guess if he wasn't heading to a house nearby I would call police for some kinda help.

Agree with Christina ... Next time contact the authorities and remain distant but close as you wait for them to arrive ... But don't beat yourself up for how you handled it today ... It's a difficult and delicate situation given the state of the world today.

[Yours_Truly]

I know you feel awful that you couldn't do more but, I really don't see how you could have done much else. You reached out, offered assistance, and he responded. I would have done the same thing as you. And I also would have been afraid that watching and following him would have freaked him out even more. What else can one do? The only other thing would be to call the police and that seems a bit excessive.

So try to feel good about the actions you did take. Life just doesn't always afford ideal outcomes.

[Talthybius]

I found a girl crying on the street near a train station about a year ago. I saw her sit at the side of the road, bicycle parked, which was odd as it was like 12:30 PM. I stopped and asked if she was ok. She was crying so badly, I could barely understand a word. Apparently she got into a fight with a friend, and they split and she started crying there. She could go home. Apparently, they got into an argument about the crying girl trying to give advice as the friend was messing up her life, or something. I assumed the friend was female, for some reason.

Me standing there, 6"4', looking down on a small Asian girl sitting on the road, I realized once more I cannot show empathy, do not know how to comfort someone.

All people moved through, ignoring her. I stopped. But me with my broken personality, autism traits, I had nothing to offer. That moment I realized immediately I was a failure and me stopping and talking to her would mean that any person with real comforting skills would not stop. Well, that was what I was thinking that moment, standing face to face with her.

I asked if it was ok for me to leave, and I left. On my bicycle road home, at first, I felt like a hero. I acted when everyone else did nothing. I broke the flock animal behavior I so despise in people. Then, I realized I should have made sure she got home. I turned around and she was no longer there.

I got home at like 1:40, feeling terrible. So much for my struggle to ditch my Asperger-like behavior and fake my way to the shallow niceties, charm and banter that ordinary people really love.

A couple of weeks later, there was a kid crying in the middle of a train station. It was quite loud. Everyone could hear something was going on. I looked, and I saw a young adult grab the child by the wrist. They both had the same ethnicity. It looked like the child was trying to bite the guy.

I approached them and told the guy he should maybe stop hurting the child.

The guy freaked out, and started yelling "He is my brother. He is my brother." and started circling around me, like he was about to attack me. He was quite muscular. The child ran off immediately.

I didn't really know what to say. I have never been in a fight, while he probably had been in a lot and might even be armed, and I knew I should be ready. I imagined myself being stabbed in the middle of a transit terminal, during commute hour.
I was worried about the 25 kg backback which I coudln't possibly remover without leaving myself vulnerable. I thought about just running away, but I didn't. I wanted to show myself I wasn't afraid.
I am the kind of person that probably acts like a smart-*** during a bank robbery and gets killed. People may think I am feminine, a real-life BBT Sheldon, gay, an quirky eccentric thin guy. But I am absurd like that. I have no fear of actual danger, unworldly.

Then, security suddenly appeared and stepped in between us and tried to calm him down.

All I can think about on a daily basis is that I do not have what it takes to impress the two woman who have been in my life, and who I actually cared for. I am me and they cannot possibly consider me as a romantic interest exactly for who I am. And I love who I am. I just dislike how odd normal people are.

I have to fake myself to get the respect I deserve. All my twenties I fought tooth and nail against this concept, alienating myself from everyone. And now in my thirties, having to have accepted that I either surrender, or die, I realize I just do not have the skills to do it.

Not.dead.yet, I remember some of your posts. They were quite gloomy. You are a good person, and I can relate with your 'failures', as I have felt the same way. The worse thing is probably that you just couldn't do any better. At least, that was the case in my first story. I have seen how a truly skilled female comforts someone else, without any effort. All spontaneous, purely on perfectly attuned instincts. It is a beautiful thing. I guess they cannot appreciate their own gift.

[lizardlady]

Talthybius, I think what you did in BOTH instances was awesome! In the case of the girl crying next to her bike. You stopped and let her know you saw she was in pain. There's probably not a thing you could have done to end that pain, but you let her know that you cared.

In the second case, maybe the bigger guy was the little one's brother and maybe he was trying to abduct the child. You kept him there until authorities could do something. Good for you for intervening in a situation that sounds horrible scary!

Good for you in both cases! My hat's off to you.

[lizardlady]

Not Dead Yet, I don't see that you could have done much more. You asked if the child needed help and they walked by you. I suppose you could have called the police and hung around until they got there, but I'd have been worried the police would think I was some sort of perv following the child. Tough situation.

[Artchic528]

I remember working at a basketball game and all of a sudden I noticed this blond haired boy who looked to be about 6 years old, staring at me with the biggest saddest blue eyes you've ever seen. He didn't speak to me at first, but I could tell from the sad, longing look in his eyes that he wanted help. It was the same look I probably had in my eyes when I got lost at the airport in Orlando, Fl, when I wasn't much older then the boy.

My kid brother had been sick with leukemia and the Make a Wish foundation offered to grant him a wish, which he used to go to Disney World. So, we were all being rushed by a Make A Wish representative from the terminal in the Orlando airport, once we hand landed there. In the chaos, and with my ADHD, I got distracted by the moving tracks in the baggage claim. Specifically, the way they disappeared behind grey plastic curtains. My curious little self wanted to know what was behind those curtains.

Anyways, before I realized it, my family had been whisked off to the rental car place and I was left at the baggage claim all by myself. I was scared, naturally, being only 6-7 at the time. I recalled my mother telling me that if I was ever lost, to stay put so they could easily find me, and I stood exactly between two pillars, never moving from there. I remember staring at adults passing by, especially any who wore uniforms like the pilots, and willing them to come over to me to ask me why I was all by myself and crying. My mother had also instructed me, as any good parent should, that I was not to talk to strangers. Perhaps I took her instructions a bit to literally, but looking back, I guess you can never be too careful.

All the adults in baggage claim were too busy to notice anything besides getting their luggage, let alone a little red haired girl all by herself in tears. Eventually, my mother noticed I wasn't with her and came back through the baggage claim and found me. She scooped me up and kissed me all over my face because she had been as scared as I was. Apparently, because I was a very attractive little red haired girl, she had always been afraid that I'd be taken from her by some predator or something. Thankfully, it was just my own curiosity that separated us.

Anyways, back to the blond boy. I had recognized that look of longing for some adult to offer him help. I understood that he probably had been taught to not talk to strangers either, but that he was very desperate to have some adult help him. So, I stepped forward and asked him if he was lost. He nodded, unable to speak, apparently, and a big fat tear slid down each blotchy red cheek from those big blue eyes and his little chin began to wobble.

Not being the best with kids, I took his little hand and walked him over to a fellow employee, who was a mother herself, and therefor, could better help him. I told her that the boy was lost, and she instantly scooped him up in her arms and began talking to him in a soothing voice. Something that didn't come naturally to me.

Eventually we found his mother, who was very relieved to have found him. I'll never forget though, the look he had on his face and how I instantly knew what was wrong.

Thank you all for your replies! Being able to share what happened and getting your input has helped me feel better

Where I live is considered very safe so I never thought of calling the police.. I couldn't see very well without my glasses but thought I heard voices from the school yard before the crying began. Somehow I got the impression the kid had rowed with his friends and that's why he left..

He didn't seem physically hurt in any way. I guess there really wasn't anything else I could have done. I did think that had it been someone older than me, maybe someone who had kids of their own who had seen him, they probably would have been able to exude both authority and warmth to get the kid talking.

My social skills aren't great to begin with and like I described, I'm always very insecure about what I should do in these situations when they suddenly come about, so I'm sure I didn't seem very dependable to the boy. Well, I meant well and do hope he got home alright and was comforted there

[cakeladie]

Unfortunately while in school 5th grade my friend was kidnapped and then found dead. Then in high school another friend went missing and was also found dead. My town is small so small that it doesn't even have its own police station. I never wanted my children to feel that pain but unfortunately my daughter's friend went missing. She has been missing for over 4 years now I believe. They have somebody in custody but they have never found her. To have to hang flyers for a child that has been in my home ate at my table is a very hard thing.

Not dead yet - you did something. You asked if he was ok you watched that he made it to a house, thank you. Thank you for taking a minute to ask and to watch that he got some where safe.

Talthybius thank you for stopping and talking to the girl. I am sure it meant something to her and I think it meant something to you. My son has autism and mild retardation. He is 26 years old. He is a kind caring person but people take one look at him and know he is different. It takes a special person to stop and talk to the girl. Likewise it also took a special person to make sure that little boy was ok. Who knows maybe he wasn't his brother the point is you stopped. How would you have felt if you turned on the tv that night and there was a picture of him on the news saying he was missing.

Artchic528 I have been in Orlando airport before how very scary that was to be separated from your family. I am glad you remembered what your mom told you. Staying put always helps. My daughter who has strawberry blond hair more red now that she is older got seperated from us at an amusement park when she was 9 years old. She went up to a worker there and they took her to lost/found for kids. I was shaking by the time I got to her and I just hugged her and started crying. She wasn't the least bit fazed she said when she could not find us she went up to an employee and they brought her there. There was several other kids there they gave the kids food and had games for them to play. I am also very sorry that your brother was so sick

I think if more people were aware of what is going on around them this world would be a better place.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

(((HUGS&TEARS CAKELADIE))))

I agree with everyone here. You never just pass by a child who is in distress!!
I don't care if somebody did get the wrong impression..because, when it comes down to it...I have and always would put the safety of a child or anyone who is truly helpless to defend themselves over my own...because, I am a mother myself...and if it were my child in that situation I pray to God that a good person would be the one to answer their cry...*shutter*..it's a scary scary world out there!