[Snowsunshine]

Hello,so I suffer with anxiety and depression and this year I was going out with this guy and we fell in love.We agreed to try being on a relationship but I was so scared(and still am)that I would make him miserable because of my issues so I broke things between us.The problem is that I really love him,for the past few months I dream about us every single night and I just feel so guilt about breaking things up.
I'm considering sending him a message explaining why I ended things but I'm scared of this reaction or that I'll really be a lot to handle.I really need some advice,thanks in advance.

[winter4me]

You could try writing a "letter" to him that you keep and read a few days later, maybe edit, and you could message him. There is nothing wrong with that. But, you need to be OK with whatever his response is----and if he wants to see you again, he needs to know that you have problems that will need attention/problem solving from both of you. You did not make him miserable, that is something you need to believe----it is the way it affected him, his own internal responses that caused bad feelings...
Then again, if you have a T., you might want to discuss this. Sometimes it is good to learn to understand our decisions, to filter through the loss of a fantasy, before acting. If you are reaching out because you feel guilty, that is not a good sign.
No one, in the end, feels good if one is "guilty". (((((hug)))))
Could you express yourself creatively? (collage, paint, make music?)...

[Sesiley]

Originally Posted by Snowsunshine

Hello,so I suffer with anxiety and depression and this year I was going out with this guy and we fell in love.We agreed to try being on a relationship but I was so scared(and still am)that I would make him miserable because of my issues so I broke things between us.The problem is that I really love him,for the past few months I dream about us every single night and I just feel so guilt about breaking things up.

I'm considering sending him a message explaining why I ended things but I'm scared of this reaction or that I'll really be a lot to handle.I really need some advice,thanks in advance.

Yes, he needs an explanation. If he loves you, and cares, he will understand. The biggest key to relationships is communication.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

^^I agree with sesiley. It hurts to not know why.

[SarahK]

I don’t know what advice a therapist would give you. But my advice is to send him the message. I’ve been on the other side of things – where someone broke up with me – and I wished he would have sent me a message explaining things. Instead, I was left to just guess and feel horrible.

The ball is in your court, in a way, since you broke up with him. He might feel uncomfortable reaching out to you. Which is why I think you reaching out to him is a decent idea.