[Jane102]

So there's two guys. I love both of them, they both want me. One is an ex, we were together for a year and it was amazing, we didn't talk for months but I never got over him, we only broke up because both of our heaths disintegrated so it was for the best. I started talking to him again and immediately had feelings for him despite being with someone else at the time.

The someone else is the other guy in this scenario, he's great, he treats me so well(better than the other guy and we're probably better suited for each other). We were also together for a year before breaking up because he became mentally ill. All three of us have been in psychiatric hospitals and that's how we met(I know you shouldn't date people from hospital but I'm stupid). Anyway he tried to kill himself and had to go into hospital eventually but I had to take care of for nearly a month before that, it really go to me and I couldn't sleep, I stayed with him 24/7 didn't sleep in fear he'd do something while I did, I didn't go to my lectures and have to repeat exams and possible the year because of it.

He's out of hospital and we've remained close and acted as if we were still together despite breaking up. I've gone right back to taking care of him, I can't sleep in case he'll text me saying goodbye and it'll be my fault(the last attempt he text me saying goodbye and I had to ring an ambulance to find him and stop him). It's all had a terrible affect on my own mental health and I was up the night before last wanting to kill myself just to end the fear. I know I would blame myself if anything happened to him. We got back together properly the night that happened.

I have been talking to the ex from the first part and we happened to start getting romantic and I really want to be with him but I can't leave the other one in case he'll do anything, I'm miserable and scared all the time and I'm ruining my chance to be with the person I really want. I do also still like the second guy, I honestly thought we'd be together for the rest of our lifes and we had it planned, it's just the fear is too much and I can't take it anymore but I still love him and love being with him for the brief moments I forget the fear. I just don't know what to do, I feel trapped

[Bill3]

It will never be your fault if he kills himself. That is his choice and his choice alone.

It will never be your fault.

but I can't leave the other one in case he'll do anything

Yes you can.

What he is doing to you is emotional blackmail: In a nutshell, emotional blackmail is a psychological-emotional ransom note that says, “if you don’t do what I want then I will make you hurt”.

Emotional Blackmail ? Out of the FOG

Anyway he tried to kill himself and had to go into hospital eventually but I had to take care of for nearly a month before that, it really go to me and I couldn't sleep, I stayed with him 24/7 didn't sleep in fear he'd do something while I did, I didn't go to my lectures and have to repeat exams and possible the year because of it.

You did not have to do any of that. You chose to do it. Your good heart guided you in that choice, but your head did not have to go along with it.

You are under no obligation to ruin your life or your studies because of him.

I just don't know what to do, I feel trapped

You feel trapped because of the guy's emotional blackmail. You can free yourself by allowing the guy the respect and the responsibility to make his own decisions. If he is imminently suicidal by all means call 911: but do not tie your entire life to his threats.

[~Christina]

:good post:

[Unrigged64072835]

I agree with Bill3. All of you are adults and are only responsible for your own mental health. Expecting someone else to monitor you continuously is not healthy for either of you.

[Trippin2.0]

What Bill said.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Bill3

It will never be your fault if he kills himself. That is his choice and his choice alone.

It will never be your fault.

Yes you can.

What he is doing to you is emotional blackmail: In a nutshell, emotional blackmail is a psychological-emotional ransom note that says, “if you don’t do what I want then I will make you hurt”.

Emotional Blackmail ? Out of the FOG

You did not have to do any of that. You chose to do it. Your good heart guided you in that choice, but your head did not have to go along with it.

You are under no obligation to ruin your life or your studies because of him.

You feel trapped because of the guy's emotional blackmail. You can free yourself by allowing the guy the respect and the responsibility to make his own decisions. If he is imminently suicidal by all means call 911: but do not tie your entire life to his threats.

Ditto all of this.