[wondering1234]

I’m feeling a little helpless. For nearly the last year, I have been dating an amazing guy. We get along so well and really do care about each other but he struggles with anxiety and abandonment issues. Usually, he does a very good job of communicating with me how I can be most supportive and I really feel as if I’m trying my best for him every day. This semester, many of his friends travelled abroad while he stayed put at university. He is overwhelmed with classes, thinking about the future, and the fact that so many of his friends are gone. I just want to be there for him but I don’t know how. Recently, he has stopped talking to me about his feelings and we’ve spent less time with each other. When we are together, I feel as if he’s mad at me and I don’t know what to say or what to do to at least have us communicate with each other. I know I can’t fix his problems but I’d like to at least be someone he feels he can trust and talk to. Any advice is welcome.

[Skeezyks]

Hello wondering1234: I don't know as there is much of anything I can offer here. From my perspective, all you can do is to be present & let your friend know you're available to talk if-&-when he wants to. Beyond that the ball is in his court, as the saying goes. Perhaps other members, here on PC, will have better suggestions to offer.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Anrea]

My emotions sway about. What helps me is, my husband is not effected by my waves.

You cannot get so lost in trying to find him between the shadows that you forget to hold onto yourself. Just be a rock, and he will come and find you.

Understand? 2 leaves in water cannot help each other. The only way they can stop the float is if something is strong and real.

You be you, firmly.

[AutumnLeaves65]

I agree with all the comments up above.

You are truly doing your very best to be there for them. That is all you can do. I know they know you are there for them, but sometimes, people need time to themselves as I'm sure you are allowing that. Just keep doing what you can and they will come back. Good luckto you