[piggysmile]

I feel overwhelmed by the fussy overprotective behavior of my grandmother at home. I'm usually annoyed by her when she keeps on telling me to eat, what and when to eat, when to take a bath, what time to sleep, and so on.

I appreciate her concern but hearing these things over and over throughout the day is annoying me so much. Telling her that I can handle those petty things myself doesn't help since she says that she worries about me so much. I don't want to offend her so how should I deal with her?

I need kind advices please.

[silentlyscreaming]

Hey piggy, My grandmother was exactly the same when I lived with her, and she still calss me all the time to make sure I'm eating right, have enough money etc etc.
I don't know why she is the way she is, but here's my theory...
My Grandmother had 4 kids, all boys, so I was like the daughter she never had, also, I think that it made her feel like she was needed again, since her boys had long since left home.
Besides looking after you, what other things does your grandmother have in her life? Does she have much of a social life? hobbies?
Maybe she thinks that if you think that you need her around, you'll keep living with her, so she's clinging to you.
Just a thought, hope it helps.

[piggysmile]

I think that I know what you mean. I believe that my grandmother is like this to me since I'm the grandchild whom she had taken care of longest. It may just be that my immaturity makes me so annoyed sometimes, especially, when I'm too busy with myself.

[eskielover]

I remember my Grandmother being like that too....only even worse. She would try to control everything & then she would get down to nit picking about things.....you have a blemish on your skin or one ear lobe is a bit larger than the other (not really that, but similar things). She got so anoying that I couldn't stand to be around her. The sad thing was that she ended up with alzheimers & just totally lost it......don't know if that was a warning sign or not.

My gramps was the sweetest person in the world...& why he was stuck with her it beyond me......but I finally got to the point when she treated my Mother bad one time, I told her off & let her know under no uncertain terms that if she didn't change, no one would be seeing her in the future & we would only visit with Gramps.

Doesn't sound like your grandmother is that bad, but you need to let her know that you don't need her protection....but that you appreciate her caring, but try to show it in a way that won't hurt you so bad.....maybe if she knows that what she does is hurting you, she will quit.

Debbie

[radio_flyer]

I wish I had had a grandma/grandpa. Well, of course, I did, but I don't remember them. There are pictures of them with the family, but I have no recall ever being with them.

It does sound like your grandma is a bit over protective. But maybe look at it this way, be glad you even have a grandma that cares. Maybe do something nice for her to let her know you appreciate her. Give her flowers or even a hug. Tell her you love her.

[28malefithappy]

Perhaps piggy you could distract your grandmother with something that would occupy her attention so she is not so focused on you and doesn't have time to do that.
Maybe you could get her a pet or a hobby or a new boyfriend.

[Direction]

Piggy...have you ever talked to her about this? I'm sure there is somewhere in the middle that things could move to...expect small changes...

Not that I wish for an overprotective grandmother...I sure would have enjoyed a grandmother that was somehow engaged in my life...so please remember to honor her as much as you can as you gently work on this with her.

[ECHOES]

humor... compassion.. directness.

"Grandmother, you are telling me to eat?!?"

"Grandmother, thank you for caring about me so much. You've taught me when and what to eat... So now you don't have to worry about that anymore!"

"Grandmother, I love you and I'm so lucky to have you and your love. Sometimes I feel a little annoyed when you tell me what to eat, when to eat (or whatever). Could you trust me to do those things on my own now?"

You and your grandmother sound very loving and sweet.