[bjl122289]

I'm 27 years old and I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 26. It started out good but went bad quick and all we did was argue. We broke up and I gave it sometime to start looking again then I met a girl who changed my world. I always had in my mind the kind of person I wanted to be with and the perfect girl I wanted and I found her. She was incredibly beautiful inside and out, intelligent, funny, kind, easy going and honest. We took things slow and I waited 4 months before asking her to be my girlfriend and even waited that long to kiss her. I was happier than I had ever been before. We had an incredible amount of respect and trust for each other. I opened up to her and told her things I never told anyone else. I trusted her completely. She was in the Navy and she found out she was going to be transferred across the country. It was scary but I was either prepared to go with her and if she wasn't ready for that then I was ready to wait the 2 years for her that she'd be gone. I came to love her deeply. I knew our feelings for each other weren't on the same level yet and I was okay with that. That didn't make me love her any less. Overtime I could tell she wasn't as happy as she was when we first started dating. We talked about it and she said with her having to move she didn't feel a long distance relationship would work because she wouldn't want to be away from me and I couldn't go because I had just gotten a really good job and we weren't at the living together stage. She also felt we weren't progressing in our relationship. She wanted to end our relationship and as much as I hated to do it I agreed because I loved her and wouldn't try and keep her in something she wasn't happy with. It's been a few months since we broke up and we're still friends as we told each other we'd always be there for one another no matter what. But I have been in so much pain I've never felt worse in my life. There's no one I want more than her. I'd give up my life for hers because she is the love of my life. We've talked a few times about us breaking up and she doesn't want to try again. It hurts so much but I'm not angry with her in anyway. I hope she finds someone who will make her the happiest person in the world and treat her the way she deserves as much as I wish that person was me I know it won't be.

[Skeezyks]

Hello bjl122289: Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry things have not worked out the way would have wished. However, from my perspective, the maturity with which you are handling this situation bodes well for future relationships. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Open Eyes]

bjl, welcome to Psych Central. I am so sorry you met someone you fell in love with and it did not work out into a life commitment for you. It sounds to me like this young woman simply was not ready to invest in a commitment. Unfortunately, that can happen and it sure can be hard on the one that feels that person is the "one" that they would like to have a long committed relationship with.

You deserve to grieve this, but keep in mind that you learned some things from this individual, even though it was not a long term relationship. Each person we meet is going to be another person we learn from. You did learn you can have strong feelings, and you learned you want to have that. There "are" other women that are looking for relationships out there, "nice" women too. Give yourself a chance to find another woman and one that is ready for a relationship that can become more of a commitment.