[LifeInDarkness]

I don't know what to do. How do I find someone to go out with on a date? I am in school (a very LARGE school) and usually I will go to class, workout, then go home. I have joined a few clubs too and made nice friends but not much else. I have gained some confidence and sense of self over the years, but there's not a day in my life I don't think about her. "When I will I find her?", "Is she out there?" I have prayed many times for her to come into my life.

My 1st relationship was 7 years ago (it was online) and sometimes I get extremely scared I won't get into a real relationship until I'm very old. Right now I'm young (22) and I want to experience "young love" like regular people do. Some days I feel completely hopeless and empty, like it'll get to a point where I'm like 30 and still single, at point which I'd probably consider suicide.

I've tried online dating (been on 1 site for years). I did not like messaging tons of girls and getting ignored, knowing their inboxes were getting flooded, like I was a needle in a haystack. It was just fake and meaningless (which is also why I don't have social media).

I just want to find someone like me. Quiet, reflective, and who leads a simple life. Someone who's been through a lot but is looking to really care and connect deeply with someone else. I don't want to have "sex" immediately. A few girls expressed interest in "FWB" or "one night stands" but I didn't love them so I refused. Most guys think I'm weird for that but I don't care what they think.

Is she out there? Why is it so difficult? What do I do...?

[canest29]

Well let me tell you something, Suicide is not an option, YOU are the most important person in your life and will always be. Sure I know it can be sad to be alone something and having a significant other could be nice.

But it is better to be alone then with somebody just to be with somebody.

As for dating site, they can be good but it is kinda hit and miss, the problem with the dating site is that most free sites are filled with guys that will send all kind of crap to the ladies, which result in all the good girl leaving in the first week or so.

As for the paying site, I know it sucks but it can filter out some of the bull going on on there. If you go that way however dont fall for their pay 1 year and save, go month by month because if you find someone then you are going to have paid for a year for nothing lol.

And at school, any good female friends ? people who you talk to on the regular basis who you feel the connection is kinda good ?

Let me know,

Oh and kodos to you for not falling for the FWB or one night, they most likely end up in one or another getting his or her hearts broken at the end of the road. It also shows that you respect yourself and others

Im 29 and single.

Regards,

[LifeInDarkness]

Originally Posted by canest29

But it is better to be alone then with somebody just to be with somebody.

I have not heard this in a long time, but it is so true.

Originally Posted by canest29

...the problem with the dating site is that most free sites are filled with guys that will send all kind of crap to the ladies, which result in all the good girl leaving in the first week or so.

Interesting, never thought of it that way.

Originally Posted by canest29

And at school, any good female friends ? people who you talk to on the regular basis who you feel the connection is kinda good ?

Let me know,

I do have good female friends, actually I am very fortunate to have quite a few who care about me a lot. But mostly they are taken already at this age, haha.

Originally Posted by canest29

Oh and kodos to you for not falling for the FWB or one night, they most likely end up in one or another getting his or her hearts broken at the end of the road. It also shows that you respect yourself and others

Im 29 and single.

Regards,

I have heard the same, that it leads to unhealthy attachments with hormones and brain chemicals and everything. I don't want to do that to someone I don't love. We all deserve better than that.

Thank you so much for your reply. I think you understand where I'm coming from. Sometimes I have beliefs and question them because it seems not many share them as I do, but I think I made the right decisions.

Any advice on how to proceed with my life? lol

[canest29]

Originally Posted by LifeInDarkness

Any advice on how to proceed with my life? lol

Well that is kinda hard to answer, live your life like YOU want first, make yourself happy, I know it's not always easy but I don't stop myself from doing anything, Movies, Beach, Festival, Concert whatever you like dont stop doing it because you are alone. Sure would be better with good company but you as a single man have to have fun as well. You should feel better also and it might help your self confidence, which can also help into you finding someone.

Hope it helps,

I don't know how much people see love the way I do nowadays, but this is how I see it:
Love is not just about being with someone who does you good. It's also about holding to one another even if there are some bad feelings, out of empathy that we'd all want that.
What I'm saying is, be open to all sorts of women. Everyone is worthy of getting to know and listening to.

Yes. She is out there.

(Speaking as a mom with 2 single, intelligent, beautiful daughters)

Plus, hang out here long enough and you will find a wealth of sensitive single women also asking the same question you are...