[Sleepless Knight]

Sorry about the length of this post but it's something that's been on my mind for a long time. Ok so this may seem strange but I honestly don't know how to deal with this situation. I am suffering from depression so it could be all in my head but I don't think it is.

For years I've noticed that my friends give me zero respect. I always seem to be the butt of jokes ranging from my looks right up to my religious beliefs. I know that friends often make fun of each other but it seems like I can't go an hour in their company without being ridiculed in some way. Also, whenever I tell them something they didn't know, no matter how factual it is, they always argue against me, telling me I'm wrong no matter how much evidence I produce. They just don't seem to trust a single word that comes out of my mouth despite the fact that I've never, to my knowledge, given them any reason not to. Generally they're just small things, little pieces of trivia I've found but they can also be bigger things which affect me personally.

This causes me a lot of upset and I have no idea what to do about it. They are generally friendly but they treat me like an idiot who can't do anything properly. When they stay over at my place, they don't even trust me to cook, instead opting to order takeaways. It's clearly just me too as they accept food cooked by each other when at one of their houses. I would understand if I had served up something substandard in the past but they've never trusted me enough to cook for them even once from the very beginning. I don't want to lose my friends but I can't continue like this. I don't even want to bring it up as I think they'd just mock me and say I'm being emo.

What do you guys think? Am I just overthinking things (I have a tendency to do that) or is this a real issue? If so, how do I deal with it without making things worse?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Sleepless Knight: I'm sorry I don't know the answer to your concern. But I do believe it is a real concern. Yes, you may be a bit over sensitive. (I know I certainly am.) But I do also believe that the sorts of interpersonal dynamics you describe are real. I've experienced it myself & I've known other people who did as well.

Some people just seem to have an invisible sign on their backs that says: "Kick me." And so everyone does. (Perhaps it goes back to the kinds of pecking orders one sees in groups of other primates.) Unfortunately, I don't know what one can do about a situation like this other than seek new more agreeable friends. Either that or simply keep to oneself... which has been my preference. Perhaps other members, here on PC, will have better suggestions.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[MickeyCheeky]

I can relate to your feelings.

My suggestion is to talk about this with your friends. Share your feelings with them and be honest, and see how they react. Respect is a very important part in any human relationship..

Good luck

[TishaBuv]

Does one friend seem to be the ring leader in this attitude? Can you figure out where their attitude about you originated from?

I'd definitely tell them this treatment bothers you. If they don't respect your boundaries, they are not real friends.

I have a difficult, life-long friend. I know she always tries to take advantage of me and will try to make me feel bad, using what I confide in her against me. Yet I still stay her friend, just trying to not cross those boundaries and telling her to back off when she starts on me.