[LadyShadow]

Hi there everyone,

I guess I just want to vent a bit, as I am very emotional right now and I am letting everything out. Being bipolar is tough and I have my disability under review, I am trying to look for a part-time job and my sleeping patterns have just been awful. My therapy appointment has been pushed back because of the snowstorm just when I needed it most. It's been 5 weeks since I have seen my therapist and I am going to break any moment.

I got myself out of a verbally abusive relationship, and when we parted ways I thought that would be that. But he kept calling and calling, stalking me on my blog and just refused to go away. His last message was "You will be the last woman I will ever love, see you on the other side of this life." Very cryptic. He also said he was just released from the psych ward right after our break-up.

Has anyone ever been in this situation? I mean he is basically saying he is going to harm himself and I want nothing to do with any of it. I have to look out for myself because I am a very emotional person, and if I don't take care of me, I am going to fall apart. But I feel this is so unfair to put me in this position. I am hurting so deep inside, and I have overwhelming feelings of guilt. I had to change my number because I didn't want to be dragged down with him anymore.

I am just in so much pain with guilt. I know his actions are his own, but I feel like I am being dragged through the gutter. Any advice on how to alleviate some of this guilt would be helpful.

Thanks for listening.

[RainyDay107]

Yes, I have. I think you need to notify the police now and give them his name/info and tell them about your situation. See what they say. Also, law enforcement will do a free check inside and outside your home and tell you how to make it more secure.

Block him from all possible contacts, phone, social media. If he has ever touched your keys, I'd change your locks. Check your car for a GPS monitor. Do not contact him. No contact. If you see him, reverse direction and get away. Get pepper spray...sold at hunting or sporting goods stores. Keep it with you.

I chose not to get a domestic violence injunction. This was a personal call I made. Depending on a stalker's personality, this may enrage them and d.v. Injunctions...it's a piece of paper. But you use your judgement.

I can't advise you on guilt, just what steps I took in my situation.

Stay safe. xo

[TishaBuv]

I'm ashamed to say I have.

People just say this kind of stuff when they are hurt. They want you to feel bad. They are hoping you'll cave in and take them back.

Don't do anything. It doesn't sound like he threatened to hurt you, did he? He's just being an ***. Don't engage him. Block him from harassing you.

It's tough to break up and your feelings are very understandable.

[Bill3]

I suggest you google emotional blackmail.

With emotional blackmail, someone in essence says Do what I want or I am going to make you hurt.

[s4ndm4n2006]

you feel guilty but the fact is that is what he is using to manipulate you or attempt to. You need to block him from contacting you and if he comes around you need to put out a restraining order on him. The only way your guilt will subside is by eliminating the thing that is exacerbating your problem and that's his manipulative words. Like Bill said, it's emotional blackmail and the only way to get rid of it is to not listen to it. If you keep the lines of communication open, likely you will keep falling for it, so best to just cut him off, change phone numbers if you have to but cut him off completely.

[LadyShadow]

Thank you everyone for your wonderful advice. I took all of your suggestions into consideration, and completely removed him everywhere. I haven't heard anything in the past few days since I made this thread, so hopefully now he stays gone.

It was emotional blackmail and it was unfair. I had held on to a lot of guilt which I recently let go of. Just had to make peace with it is all. Thank you again for all the hugs and the great suggestions by the posters.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm glad you removed him everywhere. You have to much to think of - hope you'll be able to focus on yourself now.

[Bill3]

Well done LadyShadow!

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Thank you everyone for your wonderful advice. I took all of your suggestions into consideration, and completely removed him everywhere. I haven't heard anything in the past few days since I made this thread, so hopefully now he stays gone.

It was emotional blackmail and it was unfair. I had held on to a lot of guilt which I recently let go of. Just had to make peace with it is all. Thank you again for all the hugs and the great suggestions by the posters.

Such wonderful news. I'm happy to hear that you've done this...