[LiteraryLark]

This is so new to me. I have two people I am interested in. One is a guy, one is a girl. Ive already been on a date with the guy, but Ive been messaging back and forth with this girl and would like to go on a date with her. The guy is nice but no fireworks right off the bat, and he lives an hour away. The girl seems promising and she lives only ten minutes away. I am currently not committed or obligated to date either, but Ive never had more than one promising date before...how would you handle this?

[Bill3]

Well I do not know anything about OK Cupid!

But I don't see anything wrong with seeing more than one person at a time when you are not committed/exclusive to someone.

My question is how would you feel if you were being strung along?

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

My question is how would you feel if you were being strung along?

That has nothing to do with what I am asking.

What's the point of being bisexual if you can't juggle dates of opposite genders on OKCupid?

[LiteraryLark]

That was extremely rude and extremely homophobic
I never juggled between dates ever.

[LiteraryLark]

It just floors me you'd even allude to not only have a choice of being LGBT but there's also a point to make being LGBT as well (while also assuming I identify with bisexuality). That's just...wow...

[LiteraryLark]

Please keep this thread on topic. I am not going to argue with you about my sexuality. My question is no different than what others have asked here in the past, and it should not matter whether my date is male or female.

[Apokolips]

Until you enter an exclusive relationship, juggle away, they will be as well.

I don't think there's anything wrong with juggling multiple dates at this point. As Apokolips said, it's fine until you enter an exclusive relationship. Hope you have some fun dates!

[LiteraryLark]

I guess I'll know after my date with this girl if she's promising, and I know my plan of action if they're both promising. It just seems weird to date more than one person at a time. With OKC I message more than one person, then had one date, didn't work out, so moved onto the most promising one. I don't want a million offers, so I'm glad there's only two I'm looking at and I won't message anyone else until neither of them work out.

[scorpiosis37]

If you're being open and honest with them both, then it's fine. Just make sure they both know that you're actively dating men and women. As long as they have that information, then they can decide if they're okay with it. If you're hiding the fact that you're actively dating men and women, then that's a different story. For instance, as a lesbian, I choose not to date women who are also dating men. That's a huge deal breaker. So you just have to make sure you're being open and honest about it, in case that's a deal breaker for them.

[Erebos]

Hey LL, exactly what scorpiosis said.
So long as they know where they stand. It's important as the previous post said, for some it's a deal breaker.

Generally though so long as they know what's going on, and you haven't committed to one or the other then your not doing anything amoral.
Good luck hun, enjoy, be safe.

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

That has nothing to do with what I am asking.

I had suggested you were stringing them along. This has EVERYTHING to do with your thread and question. For, if they are unaware you are dating another person that is exactly what is happening.

Multiple people have said that this behaviour is okay as long as both persons know others are in the picture. I agree. I haven't seen you respond to this and those replies you have posted suggest this isn't happening.

Again, my question to you is how would you feel if someone was doing this to you?

[TishaBuv]

Isn't telling dates you are bisexual sufficient? Why do you have to tell dates you are dating other people? IMO it is assumed nothing is exclusive until two people say it is exclusive.

I think 'stringing someone along' can apply after a certain length of time, maybe 3 months of frequent dating. I wouldn't say just getting to know several people by dating in the beginning is stringing anyone along.

When I was dating, I didn't ask them anything like that and I didn't tell them anything about that.

I called them all baby jk

P.s. Lefty gets manic and gets himself in trouble with his comments sometimes.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I had suggested you were stringing them along. This has EVERYTHING to do with your thread and question. For, if they are unaware you are dating another person that is exactly what is happening.

Multiple people have said that this behaviour is okay as long as both persons know others are in the picture. I agree. I haven't seen you respond to this and those replies you have posted suggest this isn't happening.

Again, my question to you is how would you feel if someone was doing this to you?

Isn't that how online dating sites work?

People on OKC are messaging multiple people at once trying to find a match. That means while they may meet in person they may still be messaging other people online. Like others have said, unless we become exclusive then there's nothing wrong with keeping my options open.

[LiteraryLark]

And yes, on my profile it does state my sexual orientation.

[Erebos]

Being bi does not mean you get to have two separate love lives. The same rules of consideration apply as in every relationship.
Stating your bi does not equate to telling someone you are dating multiple people.
If you say your poly, or open. Then people may assume that. But I would still spell it out.
People's can be very selective about what they think they knew, if things go wrong. Best not to leave any room for doubt.

However we are talking about very early stages where no-one has made their mind up if they even want to see each other again.
That doesn't mean they shouldn't know.
I think everyone agrees, honesty is fair for everyone. I would want to know if it was me.
Then everyone can get on and have fun.

[LacunaCoiler]

I don't see the need to tell anyone anything. You guys are barely going on a first date and in my opinion that's no where near the time to be telling anyone your seeing other people. You're not in a committed relationship so there's no need to tell one about the other. Hell, you don't even know if there will be a second date so why muddy up the waters with disclosing the others.

Personal advice, when I was dating multiple people (nothing exclusive at that point) I made the mistake of talking about something the other revealed... got the two of them confused. So, make sure to keep separate info on both. Confusing them is not a good thing.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by Erebos

Being bi does not mean you get to have two separate love lives. The same rules of consideration apply as in every relationship.

There's too much focus on the fact that one date is a man and the other is a woman. It's exactly the same as if I was messaging two guys and two different guys wanted to date me and how would I choose between the two. It's not a difficult concept.

Originally Posted by Erebos

However we are talking about very early stages where no-one has made their mind up if they even want to see each other again.
That doesn't mean they shouldn't know.
I think everyone agrees, honesty is fair for everyone. I would want to know if it was me.

I'm not obligated to explain my sexuality on a first date, much like I wouldn't explain being bipolar on a first date, but if they want to know, I'd be honest.

[sabby]

The op has asked to have this thread closed.