[Mysterygirl202]

So I'm the type of person that hates loneliness. I hate when I desperately need a friend and I can't find anyone in my contacts to trust. I recently noticed that I no longer have any close friends. No one really knows me. My last best friend decided to drop me, like the previous best friend did as well. That's a whole other story...

I have decided to be alone. Even if it's for this week. I have found so much freedom in this choice. I am not responsible to respond to anyone's texts (which has only been from two so far who haven't contacted me since my lack of reply to their first message, understandable). I don't need anyone to know who I really am or to be there for me. I think I got tired of asking people for help and they say "I will" but then do nothing.

I am not hiding. Anyone is welcome to ask how I am and I will tell you honestly because I have nothing to lose.

Deciding to not have close friends has given me freedom because I'm no longer the needy one. This is my choice to not pursue anyone, which leads to no disappointment when they leave.

I have found a positive result from this. I can be me and do what I want. I can tell myself about it haha. And it's all good. I only come on here because.. I think we all need someone else out there to know what we are thinking. Even if it's a stranger who I will never see or hear from again.

[Bill3]

Anyone is welcome to ask how I am

How are you doing?

[Mysterygirl202]

Originally Posted by Bill3

How are you doing?

I think I'm not okay. But I don't know why. I just read the Osych Central article on feeling blah- and it describes how I feel. It says that it is a response to strong negative emotions- but I don't know why or what. How are you?

[Bill3]

I am doing well, thank you!

When you say that you are not okay, are you speaking pretty generally or more about this moment?

[Mysterygirl202]

Originally Posted by Bill3

I am doing well, thank you!

When you say that you are not okay, are you speaking pretty generally or more about this moment?

Generally. It's more like a constant that only disappears in certain moments.

[Bill3]

I'm sorry that being not okay is pretty constant for you.



What are the certain moments when it disappears like?

Originally Posted by Mysterygirl202

I have found a positive result from this. I can be me and do what I want. I can tell myself about it haha. And it's all good. I only come on here because.. I think we all need someone else out there to know what we are thinking. Even if it's a stranger who I will never see or hear from again.

I feel similar. I had been winding down for a while but this winter I decided enough of the toxic effect others have on me. I took 60 people off my Facebook page now I just have people I don't see often. I try to keep my door closed at work. I only do what I want to. I don't join groups, go out after work, go to events. One question on everything I do.. do I want this.

Shocking to say I have learned a lot and never been happier. I used to have *a experience* and want to tell a friend. Usually I would expect a great reaction but if it was exciting to me... nothing over there. Usually less that a nod. Now when something happens to me... knowing there is no one to tell.. I enjoy the moment for me.

I find not talking to people leads to a lot less emotional wear and tear. A few weeks back I ran into a former co worker on the street. I had made him a Facebook friend and out of NO place he tells me that I am *paraphrasing here--* funny and not at all the ***** that everyone thinks I am. You know.. we had a two second conversation and you insulted me. I defriended him. But that kind of thing happens a lot to me... and by not talking to people I can avoid all the little insults.

I am still having some issues at work.. but so many people who wanted to be my friend only wanted to to so they could have a co gossip or literally someone to use. SOOOO much time has been restored to me when I am not forced to deal with their gossip. I have thrown that into me.. just me... and investigated my health and investments.

Of course I want to talk to people sometimes and I come here or other boards.. but I find that is all that I need.