[Ag33]

I have been with my boyfriend now 2 years and I have bad anxiety and PTSD with meeting people. I have struggled meeting his brother and sisters as I know they judge me because we moved from the big smoke out closer to my family which is out in the country. He loves it here as much as I do and he obviously had to take a pay cut due to the different lifestyle to the city. I can't work at the moment due to working at a pub years ago and I was unfortunately working the night two men walked in with balaclavas and a shot gun and held it to my head. This incident changed everything for me and has effected my self esteem and confidence especially working again with the public and trusting people.
I have met my bfs parents and have visited a few times now. They are wonderful. But 2 of the 3 older siblings of his, talk badly of our relationship (mind you I've only met 1 of them) and they judge me and say nasty things like 'he is an idiot for moving all the way there for this girl of his' ... 'it's the worst decision and move he will ever make, the relationship won't work', '...why would he leave such a high paying job for some girl and for something else that pays so much less' etc etc.
I heard all of this through his step father and it really hurt me knowing that this is what they see me as and I did nothing to deserve such stereotypical views of me.
His brother had met me once and I was as pleasant as can be. I made sure he was comfortable in our home and made him breakfast and dinner. All he spoke about was his job, degree, the money he makes and how successful he is. I didn't have much to talk about with him and I could feel he was so so bored with our conversations. I couldn't bare being anywhere with him as I felt intimidated and really embarrassed about saying something that might not sound or be right. His sister has not met me and has said she also thinks my bf is an idiot for being with someone like me. I feel worthless and I feel I will never be good enough for anything. I have spoken to my partner about it and he said I need to forget it and remember that he is with me because he loves me and doesn't care what they think and that the reason he moved to the country with me, is to get away from all the stuff that causes him trouble. He reassured me that I have nothing to worry about and that he loves me very very much. I just can't shake it though. I don't understand why they would be against our relationship and why they think I am any less than they are because they have degrees and make a lot of money. Can anyone tell me how they would feel or what I should make of it all? I would really appreciate any advice

[Skeezyks]

Hello Aaag33: You know... unfortunately some people just seem to get off on cutting other people down. Who knows why? Perhaps your bf's siblings are genuinely concerned for you bf's future. Or perhaps this is just "sour grapes", as we used to say. There's no way to know for sure... unfortunately.

I can certainly understand how this kind of treatment makes you feel. It's just natural to want to maintain good relations with your bf's brother & sisters. But you can't control how they act. From my perspective, I think the important thing here is that you & your bf do whatever you need to do to make sure his siblings' rude behavior does not come between the two of you. I wish you both well...

[winter4me]

I would ask the stepfather not to "share" this kind of "information" with you.
It is not a kind or necessary thing to do.

Work to focus on the good things, your bf has made his choice. He did it for himself as much as for you. ((hug))