[Shadowofself]

Hi, so i was woundering if anyone has dealt with relationship abandoment, i do hope this right section post this. As much seems silly im 23 year old who deals this for quiet few years want say 5 or 6. I used had long distance relationship with this girl we dating about year and everything seemed be going well. About xmas eve when i last talk to her, and we said we talk again in new year both us had family things going on. Well after that i had not heard single thing from her over a year after which i got point gave up hope she come back. Dissapered out the blue no reason. With this i try move on and everytime i keep somehow finding reason to break up the person or become less sociable with them. I cant help blame my self all time. I always think back to first one and aomehow my fault that she just left. I have tried countless times to let go that feelings move forward everytime i feel i e progress i end up back square one. To point now i avoid getting into a relationship so i dont keep messing up. I really cant find a clear way to figure out how get my self out this trench i been stuck in. Much less how i can cop with it effecting me so strongly. I do appolgize if my set up all over the place or incorrect wordding.

I noticed no one reply yet. Sometimes people abandon for many reasons including:
The other person said or did something that scared them. They feel guilty about something they've done and assume they would never accepted if someone knows. Sometimes there was no chemistry. I noticed that it was a long term relationship. Perhaps she found someone else and feels like she needs to stay away from you in order to be faithful to her new bf. She might still like you and is trying to put your relationship behind her. She may find that a long distance relationship just isn't enough. Have you tried talking to her? If she feels guilty about something, it may be hard to find out the truth unless she begins to accept whatever it is that is bothering her. There are some things that are hard to ever admit. Don't worry about incorrect wording. It is not words that are alienating--it is the feelings behind the words. This is why a genuine smile is so powerful. It is so easy to have sloppy communication--if the person likes you, it will be easy to straighten out any kind of incorrect wording that may have occurred. Also, when we lose someone we loved, we go through a grieving process. That process takes time. I hope you feel better soon...

[TishaBuv]

Hello and welcome to PC!

You said it was a long distance relationship. Was it only on the internet? Those people tend to disappear a lot. They call it ghosting. There is a TV show called Catfish. You should try to watch it. It's about people who pretend to be someone they are not online.

It sounds like this incident bothered you so much it is affecting your new relationships.

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Hello and welcome to PC!

You said it was a long distance relationship. Was it only on the internet? Those people tend to disappear a lot. They call it ghosting. There is a TV show called Catfish. You should try to watch it. It's about people who pretend to be someone they are not online.

It sounds like this incident bothered you so much it is affecting your new relationships.

That's good advice. If they lied about important things about themselves, that is exactly the kind of thing people have a hard time admitting.

[Rose76]

What's your idea of "a relationship?" A girl who does not spend at least part of a major holiday, like Christmas, with you - in your physical presence - is not your girlfriend.

Are you sure the two of you were actually dating?

[eyesclosed]

Hello
I'm overly sensitive to any kind of rejection. It's because of the alcoholic family I grew up in. I also blame myself for everything. This all started after I gave up drinking. I used alcohol and drugs at a very early age and never developed the life skill's to have a . So I went to a therapist and still do for CBT therapy I wonder if this could help you also.