Wasn't Asked To Be In Friends Wedding

When u talked about him being there when she was on the phone with you, it brought up a thought for me. What if he doesn't want you there since she did probably tell him what u thought of him. She wouldn't tell you for being afraid it would hurt your feelings, but yet she is hurting them anyhow but can't see that. That would also explain her making excuses for not meeting him. She also might be battling the "she wants you there" but "he doesn't" sort of thing.

To all honesty you sound judging of her. So what they've met online and so what they haven't dated long? Unless you have tangible evidence that he is a jerk, why do you judge him? And her? Meetinv online isn't a pre arranged wedding. It's very common

What about all those other people who have met him? Do they think he is a jerk etc or they have good opinion of him? If you are best friends you sure know each other Families and friends etc can you ask them if he is all right guy ?

I won't ask you if she is really a friend, I think everyone else has covered that.
Sounds to me like she might be have built this up to be something it isn't. Just wondered if she is prone to exaggerating.
Or I wonder if things aren't quite as she made out to you maybe she prefers the perfect version of her life that she gets to tell you about, to the reality.If you go to the wedding and see all isn't quite as she made out she is stuck with the reality of it.
Has she ever been competitive before, prone to one upmanship? Or has there been competitiveness in your relationship?
It just all sounds a little too perfect.
Still maybe it is...perfect, but if that was the case I can only think she has some deep seated insecurity around yours and her relationship.
Either way, I would maybe try and let her get on with it. If you don't want to talk to her about it thats perfectly within your rights. I can understand that.
I suppose I might ask myself how this relationship made me feel. Aside from this has it been a good relationship.

Anyway just some food for thought...my apologies if I repeated what someone else wrote I hadn't realised how many replies there already were. All the best.

Oh...oops just read your update. Which pretty much confirms what I wrote...apologies. I really should read ahead in future.

I really appreciate all the replies and all the different perspectives,wish I had time to respond to each one individually right now.

This whole thing has really been opening my eyes to the type of 'friendship' this is and the type of person she is,and although I was upset and hurt when I first started this thread,I no longer am.

This may sound bad but after really thinking about it,I guess I have remained friends with her through the years because I feel sorry for her.She has some serious health issues and I have thought what kind of person would I be if I ever just turned my back on her?

There's been many times I have overlooked things for that reason,including overlooking that she owes me money.I haven't loaned her any since then,just started saying I didn't have it when she asked,until she finally stopped asking.But I also never brought up what she owes me.I also stopped giving her money for birthdays and holidays a few years ago because I decided I should be spending that money on myself instead of always giving to her,especially when I would be waiting to at least be told happy birthday on mine.

If I'm completely honest,she has always been very competitive,always telling me what I should or shouldn't do,telling me how to deal with my husband and my marriage.She has also always kind of made fun of people for having anxiety,calling them 'weak', knowing I have PTSD,and that has always been hurtful but I've never spoke up about it.Everything I've talked about,she always has something bigger and better to say.

I did talk to her,she called me.I asked her how her Mothers Day was.She talked for at least 7 minutes straight about how great it was,all the gifts she got,how awesome the food was,etc.And then she changed the subject to something else so 'great and awesome'.I was thinking as she was rambling,how she didn't bother asking me how my mothers day was,how typical that was of her.So I finally interrupted her,started talking about myself and my kids and I could tell she didn't really want to hear it,wasn't really listening and was only wanting her turn to talk again.When we got off the phone I thought this isn't really a friendship at all.And even though I do feel sorry for her because of all her health problems,this is not a true friendship.