[LiteraryLark]

I've been best friends with A since high school. We were each other's first friends we made in high school. After high school we drifted apart, came back together, and now we are back to BFF status. We talk about moving out together. She lives on her own and I live with my parents. However, our plans on living on our own are different. She wants to move over 8 hours away to the big city, I want to stay the hometown girl. I feel as if she does decide to move to the big city, we will drift apart as we did after high school, and I feel that our friendship is on a countdown. I feel brokenhearted about this as she's been a terrific friend to me, and I don't know how to maintain the friendship when she is over 8 hours away. I suppose we can be pen pals, we can still talk on the phone, and I'm sure once I get a new car we can schedule visits and do fun stuff together every once it a while. It makes me sad to think that we may go our separate ways yet again and that our friendship feels like a countdown.

[Sassandclass]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way ((hugs!)))
If it makes you feel better though, my best friend, and person I connect the most with on an emotional level, and who I am in the MOST contact with out of all my friends - she lives 8 hours away in a different province. Sometimes, distance doesn't affect friendship. When you connect on such a level that you're kindred friends, distance isn't such a huge thing. I actually see this friend more than some people who live close to me (we see each other at least once a month).

[LiteraryLark]

Thank you, your message was reassuring.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're in this difficult situation. Are you sure you don't want to move with her? I agree with the previous poster. There are many ways to stay good friends even with an 8 hour distance. Good luck and best wishes.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I'm sorry you're in this difficult situation. Are you sure you don't want to move with her? I agree with the previous poster. There are many ways to stay good friends even with an 8 hour distance. Good luck and best wishes.

If I move I have to find another job, and that is very difficult for me. I like the job I have now.

If you like living in your hometown, have a job you love, then there is no logical reason to move. You can however, take weekends to go visit your friend in the big city, and have fun together. That way, you can maintain your closeness. Geographical distance doesn't (or shouldn't) effect friendships that are akin to kinship.

I have friends who live in other countries, who are bosom buddies to me. We can Google chat, Facebook Video each other, as if we just saw each other in person the last time we actually did. We've known each other for 20 years, so whenever we do call each other or video chat with each other, it's like there's no ocean between us at all.

I also have friends who live in other states, and we do the same thing. Our friendship isn't effected by the geographical distance (except for one friendship that I posted about in another thread here). Good friends will stay in touch with you, especially close friends.

It's only 8 hours. That's not too far, to drive to see each other, and spend the weekend hanging out together. Until you get a new car, take the bus or train to your friend's city. Try that for a while and see how it goes. Maybe at some point, as you get to know the city your friend moves to, you may decide to move out of your hometown and in with your friend. By then, you'll know city because of how much time you spent hanging out with your friend there on the weekends you visited her.

I did that before I moved to a new city. I would drive 8 hours to visit my cousins who lived in another state, on the weekends, because I was thinking about moving to that city but wasn't sure I wanted to leave the security I had at the time (also living at home, having just returned from living abroad). I spent a good two months driving on the weekends to stay with my cousins, and get to know the city they lived in. Then I found some childhood friends by accident who also lived there. So I made arrangements to move in with them temporarily, while also registering with temporary agencies ahead of time. By the time I moved in with my childhood friends, I had a temp job lined up, in a city I had spent two months getting to know, so the transition was very smooth. I'd do that again to wherever I move to next. Also, it helps to have a year's savings to cover rent and food and utilities costs.

[divine1966]

It's only 8 hours. I have friends in other continents. Yes it is not easy to keep friendships but 8 hours isn't that far