[kterrym98]

At the moment I am really very upset with my friends, and feel full of directionless anger and sadness.

A little background on my friends: they are all frickin' awesome, although recently I have had some problems with one of my closest friend. All but a few of my friends are studying at the same university, including me. My best friend is someone I have known from home, and who has visited me and met my uni friends, and until recently got along well with them.

My supposed best friend is certain he is borderline, although I privately believe he suffers from PTSD for a variety of reasons, although the specific diagnosis has little bearing on his experiences. Of the other friends I have made at university, two are diagnosed borderlines, one carries a diagnosis of psychotic depression but is being considered for a cluster A PD, and most of the others suffer from depression and/or anxiety. (What a group!!)

I have had a lot of mental and emotional anguish over the last 5 or so years, covering most of my adolescence and including three suicide attempts and a lot of binge eating/ purging, self harm, and generally causing problems for my whole family.

I recently was sent to A&E by my GP after the NHS denied me Community Mental Health Support, and I went from being suicidal but too exhausted and numb to do anything about it, to being actively suicidal and distraught. The ~kindly~ doctors from the hospital made me wait 7 hours and then sent me home, and I was brought back in by ambulance in the early hours having attempted suicide and feeling disoriented and confused. (I'm physically fine now)

That night I had reached out to one of my most supportive friends at uni, who coordinated with our other friends to send one friend who lived nearby to my flat, have one friend call emergency services, while she stayed on the phone to reassure me.

My best friend had recently visited me, before going to stay with another friend, and was due to come back to my flat a few days later to collect some of his things (including his passport and suitcase) before flying back to our hometown. My friends called him to see if he was near enough to get to me or help them deal with me, and are now all completely turned off of him, one friend admitting to a full blown rage split after speaking to him.

Upon being told that I was hurt, confused and hysterical, he replied, "oh **** she has my passport". My friend tried to tell him that his passport could wait, but he would only talk about his things, "bombarding" (her word) her with questions about how he would collect his things, how he wanted his weed, which he had left in his suitcase in my room. At no point did he ask after me at all, or show any concern for anything beyond his things.

When I left the hospital, he was my first thought, and I arranged for my building management to let him into the flat to get his things so that he could get home, before I flew home myself.

While I was at home recuperating, I tried to see him, asking him if I could come around, bring him a gift I had for him and apologise for causing him hassle. He told me he was ill, but I later found out he had been seen hanging out with other people all day, and so I texted him to ask if there was something wrong. He said that he couldn't handle my emotional state, and that he needed time away from me until I was "more stable". He didn't explain why he had lied to me.

After that, and being told by my other friends about what he had said to them, I have been feeling absolutely enraged. I can't concentrate on anything because my mind keeps going back to it. Am I overreacting? Should I call him? If I do, what do I even say?

Sorry for the long post, I had a lot to unpack there!

[Sunflower123]

Yes, I think you should call him to work things out between you but only when you think you're calm enough to make progress. I'm sure you want to understand his insensitivity and rationale behind his behavior and you also want to express your disappointment and confusion. Good luck with that conversation. I hope it goes well.