[tryingtobeconstruct]

I could win the day's award for "Most Irrational Thing To Be Upset About". I'm feeling disappointed that women aren't responding to my dating site profile. This worry is keeping me up at nights and depressing me all day.

What's so irrational about that?

I haven't joined any dating sites yet.

Go ahead, I challenge you to out-irrational that.

[TishaBuv]

One award for you, my friend!

What's going on in your mind? Are you considering making a profile? Are you imagining the rejection if you do?

[tryingtobeconstruct]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

What's going on in your mind? Are you considering making a profile? Are you imagining the rejection if you do?

It's a lot of things, but yes, fear of rejection is a big part of it. I met a woman online a few months ago but after meeting in person she rejected me. Somehow that triggered the most devastating breakdown of my life, which is saying a lot. I'm still trying to get over it. Part of those efforts are to get back out there.

Strangely, I actually think women will be interested in my profile. I've worked hard getting fit and trim. My pictures look great and I can be quite eloquent in writing.

That last part is the problem. I have a hard time being that charming in person. That's what happened with that woman... she liked my online personality but not my real world personality.

I guess that's the biggest thing that's got me stressed. Lack of money and writer's block are contributing to the problem.

In general it's a lifetime if shame and disappointment. I just can't seriously picture any of this having a happy outcome. That's just not how my life works.

Dating is hard. You're not alone in the stress of dating. I'm sorry you were rejected Rejection hurts for many of us. I understand how you could completely fall a part in the face of it. It's happened it me too. I believe in self care and finding ways to feel better about myself. I tend to think I will meet someone in due time. In the meantime, I will find ways to get stronger and healthier. If you dont mind a recommendation, the book Emotional First Aid by Guy Winch is pretty good and talks about remedying rejection.

[tryingtobeconstruct]

Thanks for the good thoughts. Intellectually I know that I'm not the only person who's ever broken down over a rejection, but emotionally I feel like a complete freak. I'm ready to get out there again, but it's like I'm returning to the scene of an accident for the first time.

[Anonymous37919]

I keep getting replies from someone who puts vague replies similar to those automated spammer things. They usually reply with a question like 'Are you ready to serve me?' over and over again, so you keep responding, and that's kind of annoying, because if it's a genuine person, they would say more about themselves. They are either taken the biscuit or they're after your money. One person I found on a website called Backpage was like that. The clearly fake person redirected me to a site to buy something at their request. Delete these emails and don't look back.

The fact that some of the replies I got were snippy doesn't help either. There are ways for a scammer to set up emails to reply to certain words, like it's a real person replying when it's not. It just takes a lot of work.

[TishaBuv]

People who are great writers are probably usually not such great conversationalists IRL. Like great comedians are known to be depressed IRL. I'll bet it's pretty common to have this great connection online, only to have the conversation be strained once meeting in person.

When I was dating, I wouldn't spend too much time on the phone before going on the date. (My mother made me in days before internet). This was good for the exact reason that happened to you. Had her first impression been formed from meeting in person, things might have built more slowly, and you might have hit it off.

Yes, rejection hurts. It's good to see you are willing to get back in there.

[Anonymous37919]

Tried to copy parts of videos, but the audio didn't carry over.

[Sunflower123]

I think you're brave to be thinking about "getting back on the horse". I wish you the best of luck. If you feel like you lack charm or charisma IRL, there are books on that subject. I'm sorry you were rejected. That hurts. I hope you start feeling better about your potential dating and your life in general because I don't believe it always has to be that way. I hope for better for you.

Originally Posted by tryingtobeconstruct

I could win the day's award for "Most Irrational Thing To Be Upset About". I'm feeling disappointed that women aren't responding to my dating site profile. This worry is keeping me up at nights and depressing me all day.

What's so irrational about that?

I haven't joined any dating sites yet.

Go ahead, I challenge you to out-irrational that.

If you haven't joined any online dating websites yet, how is it possible that women are rejecting your online dating profile. That makes no sense at all.